One by One

I leave for Florence in three days. This was decided two weeks ago, after about a month of careful discussion. My family is deliberately creating a cheerful atmosphere, as if I were merely leaving for a vacation, saying Florence — now the capital of the Kingdom of Italy — will be a vibrant city. But they fail entirely to grasp the true nature of the changes unfolding, relying only on news that drifts across the sea, news they interpret in the ways that suit their palates, while they sit at tables by the lake in the garden of their English estate.

Even if I am treated merely as a tool, hauled back and forth like luggage by train and carriage, they will no longer be able to keep pace with the sense of the political situation I am personally absorbing on the European mainland.

Italian unification has not entered a stable phase. Exploitation of the southern regions has caused urban economies to stagnate across the board, leading to a buildup of discontent and resentment. One must conclude that there are no truly safe cities in Europe right now — not just Florence.

Negotiations, breakdowns, and wars are relentless across Europe, creating an atmosphere of instability. Separately, a strange excitement and anticipation drift among the people, stirring the air. While trembling at the premonition that a massive change capable of overturning everything is imminent, the populace — the subjugated classes — secretly desire it deep down.

Everything is changing. Except for the nobility, who are only concerned with maintaining their authority and wealth, the entire world was preparing and steeling itself to dive into the wave of change.

But this time, I too will not remain silent and hand my fate over to their control.

I received word that Erich's master's family had abandoned their estate and fled toward the Kingdom of Bohemia, where the mistress's ancestral home is located. Since this information was gathered from such a distant source, it wasn't entirely certain, but given the urgent circumstances, it was highly unlikely they could move while bringing all fifty or so servants along. They must have given most of the servants a few coins each and sent them off to reduce the scale of their escape.

Erich, even if it meant having to solve his own problems of food and shelter, would undoubtedly have chosen freedom without hesitation when the opportunity arose.

However, I have no idea where he might have headed after breaking away from the group. I wonder if perhaps he, too, is currently searching for news of me.

While I couldn't afford to pay large sums for information, rumors circulating among the common folk on the street were often faster, more grounded in reality, and more useful than the intelligence nobles paid for.

If he heard about my current journey, perhaps there is a chance we might even meet in Florence. Now that I know what happened to his master's family, it is difficult to suppress such hopes.

Yet meeting again is not the only way love is fulfilled. Nor does being apart mean that the love I hold for him ceases. Even if the time we shared is but a fleeting moment when viewed over the span of a lifetime, I don't need a lifetime to realize that he is the love of my life.

That single, momentary encounter was enough to show me just how much he changed me and my life. It was a love that brought about a transformation akin to making blood flow within stone. I cannot simply dismiss it as a fleeting infatuation based only on the passage of time.

I have no fear that the plan will fail. My heart is already at ease, my resolve pure — so much so that I feel pathetic for having spent so long dragging my feet, acting like a gloomy victim instead of making this decision sooner.

I will no longer stand by as they erode and exploit my humanity. I don't aspire to become a hero who carves out a new destiny. If I cannot overturn the situation, I will stop this cycle, even if it requires a clean severance.

In Florence, I should be able to obtain more accurate news concerning Austria. I might also be able to find someone to look into Erich's whereabouts for a price. In fact, now I only wish that the next two weeks would pass more quickly.

Wherever he is, I can hear Erich's cry — just live. If he desires my survival, I will stubbornly endure. But now, it will be a choice, not resignation. A strategy to wait for an opportunity.

His scent has not faded in the slightest. The heat of the blood yearning for him remains just as intense. There is not a shred of anxiety that perhaps his heart has cooled, that my scent has faded from within him. For a pessimist like me, that in itself was a miracle.

I can be as certain as if he were whispering his heart to my ear and proving it with his scent. If this is because of the special bond between Didi and me, then I will no longer curse the body I was born into.