One by One

Liu had already been in the dressing room for thirty minutes. After piling clothes on the bench sofa and agonizing over the choice, he had finally settled on a white shirt and dark gray sweater. Having stripped his upper body to change, he paused with his hand on the shirt and hesitated. He wasn't feeling it.

He went back to the innermost closet, where shirts were neatly arranged by color and material, and selected a new one — a black shirt in a soft, supple fabric that draped well against the body, with a wide collar that offered a subtle touch of style.

Comfortable and warm was good, but he also wanted to look sexy. That wasn't something he could easily give up.

He laid both tops side-by-side on the sofa, crossed his arms, and gnawed on his lower lip. After a moment of thought, he checked his wristwatch — it was time to make a decision.

He quickly pulled the shirt over his bare torso. Liu hurried out of the dressing room through the hallway door rather than the bedroom, buttoning it up as he rushed down the stairs.

But as soon as he stepped into the living room, he had to stop — struck by the sight of blue and white.

Even though the painting had been hanging there for a month, every time he faced it, his breath caught as if he had been submerged in the sea. But the next moment, he realized he could breathe even underwater. It was a sea that accepted him, allowing him to move and float freely as he wished — just as he had imagined as a child, pretending to be a dolphin.

The tiny surfer in the painting was not Yeehyeon, but Liu himself. The sea expanding infinitely beyond the canvas, enveloping the surfer, was Yeehyeon. At least, that was how Liu perceived it.

Smiling, he crossed the living room, passed through the dining area, and entered the kitchen, having managed to fasten all but the top two buttons. He took a bottle of wine from the private refrigerator, which looked sparse with only a few bottles left. After a quick glance at the label, he grabbed the opener and a glass and set them next to the laptop already placed on the dining table.

He checked his appearance one more time in the large bronze-framed mirror leaning against the wall as a decorative piece. He tucked the shirt hem into his pants and rolled the sleeves up to just below the elbows. Feeling he looked a bit too neat, he ran his fingers through his hair to muss it slightly. He even undid the third button, then muttered to himself that the intent was too obvious, and fastened it back.

It was strange, but he always felt nervous when this time approached. Breathing felt strained, requiring a deliberate deep breath. Anyone who knew him would surely tease him, saying this look didn't suit him at all.

Sitting down at the laptop, Liu opened the sweet but potent red dessert wine, poured it halfway into a glass, and took a few sips to quench his thirst.

After clasping his hands together as if in prayer, covering his nose and mouth, and exhaling a long breath, he finally connected the call.

"..."

When the face he had been waiting for appeared on the black, still screen, his trembling stopped and his shoulders visibly relaxed. A smile bloomed before he could stop it. Liu covered the corner of his mouth with a loosely clenched fist and cleared his throat with a couple of dry coughs.

"Have you been well?"

The face on the screen, moving unnaturally as the connection lagged, smiled and replied.

[We just talked a few hours ago.]

"But I couldn't see your face then."

Unaware that the person on the other end was watching him through the camera at the top of the monitor, Liu kept leaning further forward, driven by the desire to see that face up close.

"Have you lost a little weight?"

[No, I haven't...]

"Show me a little closer."

Though they had a regular video call date every Friday night into Saturday midnight Seoul time — which was 5 p.m. in Paris — that didn't mean they never video called during the week. But due to their schedules and the time difference, long calls were usually difficult. Even sharing voice messages and photos throughout the day, the craving was rarely satisfied.

"Are you in 601 right now?"

[Yes. I came here so I wouldn't be disturbed and could focus.]

Remembering last week's date, which had to be cut short when Jun appeared from next door while they were deep in an intimate, heated conversation, the words made Liu smile silently as he reached beside the laptop for his wine glass.

The studio Liu had prepared, located less than five minutes from The Hands, was called 601 by both of them. It had started as a way to distinguish it from Yeehyeon's own studio, but now it had become a fixed nickname. While it was literally Room 601, Liu also liked it because it felt like a secret code shared between lovers in a film — the ones who always rented the same room at a shabby hotel on the outskirts of the city for their clandestine meetings.

Yeehyeon mostly lived in his own studio, but spent one or two days a week resting or sketching at 601.

"Aren't you cold?"

[I drew the curtains and turned on the radiator.]

"There are sweaters and sweatshirts in the wardrobe, so put one on if you feel chilly."

[Yes, I know.]

Liu couldn't take his eyes off Yeehyeon's smile on the screen and pulled his chair a little closer.

"Tell me about the work with Ben. What's going on with that?"

[Well, I already told you everything over the phone....]

Yeehyeon leaned back slightly, wrapping both hands around his mug.

Having just finished two new pieces to be displayed at The Hands in about ten days, Yeehyeon had been collaborating with Ben for several days. The collaboration was Ben's idea, inspired by Yeehyeon's new series, Journey of Clouds. It involved Ben's original photographs, overlaid with graphic design work, combined with Yeehyeon's paintings on a single canvas. It wasn't something they had planned together from the start in terms of theme or composition; rather, it was an experimental, free-form process passed back and forth like a relay race.

The harmony and conflict that naturally and unexpectedly arose as people influenced each other — and the new energy and direction resulting from that — that itself was practically the theme.

Liu cleared his throat with a dry cough and deliberately shifted into a more relaxed posture before speaking.

"You must have been exhausted finishing those new pieces. Are you sure you're okay...?"

[You know I work regularly. My daily output is consistent regardless of the exhibition schedule, so I'm not overexerting myself. It's also fun because this is my first time doing a collaborative project...]

Hmm. Liu's hand instinctively moved toward his wine glass. The ring on his left hand scraped against the glass with a faint friction sound. Out of habit, he rubbed it with his thumb before gripping the glass again.

It was a relief that Ben, who had been suffering through a long slump and even considering leaving The Hands, had regained his creative drive — but it was also true that Liu had felt uneasy ever since Yeehyeon mentioned this collaboration last Tuesday.

[You said to talk to you about it first.]

Though he had tried to be careful, perhaps his silence had lasted too long. Seeing Yeehyeon's crestfallen expression and hearing his voice through the screen, Liu put down his glass and quickly forced a brighter expression.

"I didn't say anything, though?"

[...]

But Yeehyeon didn't seem fooled. Liu ran a hand over his face and managed an awkward smile.

"Was it that obvious?"

[That's why I didn't want to bring it up.]

"No, I'm joking. I've been in the art world for years — you don't think I can't understand a collaborative project between people in a relationship?"

Still not entirely convinced, Yeehyeon tilted his head and glanced sideways at the screen.

"It's certainly welcome that your creative output is so strong, but I worry about you wearing yourself out. That's all. Since I... can't be there to look after you...."

It wasn't entirely a lie. If he had been right there beside him, he wouldn't have worried this much.

[I'm young and healthy.]

"Right, Seo Yeehyeon — your self-management is something I should be learning from... I do trust you. I can't help worrying unnecessarily. I'll cheer you on, Seo Yeehyeon. I won't be jealous. Don't be upset, okay?"

When he spoke in that teasing, playful tone, Yeehyeon finally let out a soft laugh.

[It's not that I dislike jealousy...]

"Yeah, I know."

Liu smiled at the interrupted, awkward grin that flickered across Yeehyeon's face on the screen.

"I miss you."

The words slipped out before he realized it — closer to self-muttering than a confession to Yeehyeon.

Sometimes the simple fact that Yeehyeon wasn't beside him felt oddly unsettling, beyond mere emptiness. Even when accompanying Juhan and the younger staff for study sessions, or touring exhibitions with Manager Han, or socializing at tea parties and client dinners... he would suddenly feel anxious, as if he were wasting time and missing the most important thing.

[We'll see each other soon...]

Yeehyeon rubbed his arm and lightly bit his lower lip. That characteristic expression of shyness only made Liu want to see him more.

"Yeah, I know that too... but I still miss you."

He didn't ask the nagging question — Don't you miss me? — because he knew that the desire to see him was certainly there within Yeehyeon as well.

"Today, Manager Han and I briefly discussed you."

[About what?]

"She was wondering what plans artist Seo Yeehyeon had for after leaving The Hands. Because right now, you're an artist any gallery would want to work with. Manager Han certainly feels that way too."

Yeehyeon just smiled shyly, but neither Liu nor Manager Han thought he was obligated to return to Phantom after The Hands. Just as he had said when proposing, if Yeehyeon wanted to gain more experience both personally and as an artist, Liu himself would not make any gesture that might shake his resolve. Since they couldn't keep living like this, keeping their distance forever, Liu was also prepared to reorganize his surroundings and start a new life depending on Yeehyeon's next steps.

"She isn't asking outright, but... I can tell she's curious about what I did wrong to warrant such a gap. And about the ring, too."

Looking at Yeehyeon's composed face as it nodded cautiously, Liu took another sip of wine to suppress the discomfort stirring in his chest.

"I can't keep hiding this forever, and I don't think I should — but since it's not just my mistake being revealed, it's not an easy decision to make."

[...]

"I know this is an uncomfortable topic, but... I didn't bring it up to weigh down your heart."

[I know.]

"Hiding things from you and making decisions alone. Even if the issue seems trivial now, or even if it might cause you trouble in the short term — I've decided that from now on, I will never keep any secrets from you."

To lighten the mood of a date he had been looking forward to all week, Liu deliberately added a joke with a straight face.

"Even down to how many times I masturbate thinking about you."

[You can keep that number to yourself.]

Fortunately, Yeehyeon laughed.

"Will you let it go?"

[I will.]

If it were his former self, he wouldn't have even agonized over whether to tell others what had happened between them. He would have justified it by saying it was a debt he owed Yeehyeon, and others had no business with it.

I have no intention of grabbing everyone I meet and telling them like some kind of confession. But there are definitely people who have the right to know my cowardly side. And to confess that, I'd also have to reveal the heavy secret of being a Ghost. Without admitting both, there's no way to explain even half the meaning of this ring.

[Let's save that conversation for when you get here. I'll think about it more too.]

Since revealing the Changing would inevitably involve disclosing Yeehyeon's Omega transformation and its cause, his wishes had to take precedence over everything else. This wasn't something that could be resolved simply by faithfully playing the role of a repentant sinner — exposing his true self to those around him and accepting whatever judgment they passed.

[Um... but.]

Liu listened as Yeehyeon made a rare attempt to change the subject and brought the wine glass to his lips.

[I am curious about the frequency of your masturbation, though.]

The wine Liu had just swallowed sent him urgently pushing the glass away. Thanks to his quick reflexes — pulling the chair back in time — he managed to avoid staining his jeans, though a few drops hit the floor.

Lately, Yeehyeon had a habit of surprising Liu with unexpectedly bold statements. Yeehyeon becoming this daring even outside the reach of pheromones felt new, but thinking about it, it had been nearly two years since they first met. Yeehyeon had grown in that time, and couldn't be expected to forever be the type who blushed at his partner's lead. His original personality was reserved, but it wasn't dishonest or coy.

[I'd rather you not keep it a secret.]

When Liu returned to his seat after wiping up the spilled wine with a tissue, it was hard to find any standard expression of seduction on Yeehyeon's face as he pressed the point once more — yet Liu could sense his shyness and his effort to be bold.

Perhaps Yeehyeon was deliberately mustering courage because he didn't want to fill this moment with heavy topics. In moments like this, he was so endearing it left Liu completely speechless.

"Ah... if we go down that road, this call is going to run very long tonight."

Yeehyeon's smile deepened slightly at Liu's exaggeration.

"I'll just say this much: lately, just looking at my left hand while masturbating makes me feel like I'm about to come."

Liu held Yeehyeon's gaze on the screen and bit his lower lip. His rapidly beating pulse urged him to run.

Liu drank his wine, and Yeehyeon drank from his mug — coffee, Liu guessed — and they simply stared at each other for a moment. Conscious of the tension and desire pooling between them across the distance, Liu refilled his now-empty glass.

His blood turned sweet as he tried to create an atmosphere for intimacy, as if Yeehyeon were right there beside him, close enough to touch. He wanted to approach him, to stroke his cheek, to convey how much he wanted to kiss him.

He wasn't naive enough to misread what this moment of silence — right after managing to connect — truly meant.

Liu stared intently at Yeehyeon, who was quietly but clearly conveying that he felt the same, and lightly bit his lip while stroking the ring.

"I want to smell your pheromones."

[Me too....]

Liu watched Yeehyeon — who spoke honestly despite hesitating — with heat in his gaze, and leaned his elbow on the armrest, letting his posture relax further.

He calmly described exactly how he would kiss Yeehyeon, how he would take him to bed, how he would undress him, and what kind of caresses he would give him if Yeehyeon were here right now. He spoke in a low, even voice, fingertips brushing his own lips, as if discussing recent news.

Yeehyeon listened, occasionally looking down, biting his lip, or nervously gripping and releasing his mug, his expression momentarily perplexed. It was clear that strong pheromones were emanating from him.

A Golden wasn't just superior in pheromone defense — they could also emit powerful pheromones capable of breaking down another's defenses. But Liu was certain that even the pheromones exchanged between the most exceptional Golden Alpha and Golden Omega would not match the attraction between Yeehyeon and himself.

Whether that was the pull between Ghost and Didi, or grounded in love, or some combination of both, Liu could clearly feel his own pheromones breaking through his control and emitting irregularly even now, with Yeehyeon far away. Yeehyeon would be no different.

For two young bodies desperately craving each other, a distance of nearly 9,000 kilometers was nothing short of cruel. Even just exchanging a few suggestive words with Yeehyeon — or simply recalling the scent of his pheromones — was enough to make his Alpha stir inside his jeans.

"Shall we go to the room?"

[...]

Feeling a sticky warmth gather in his own husky voice, Liu licked his lips.

"Should we lie down on the bed and call again on our phones?"

[......]

On the screen, Yeehyeon slowly nodded while painfully twisting his lower lip with his finger.

Liu stood, leaving the laptop and wine where they were, and moved to the bedroom. Knowing from experience that the call would drag on, he moved everything he needed — bottled water, cigarettes, a portable charger — to the nightstand beside the bed. He dimmed the indirect lighting and took off his jeans, tossing them over the sofa. He put the same care into setting the mood as he would when preparing for an actual night with Yeehyeon.

He let out a hollow laugh at himself for getting ready for what was essentially a video call session with a lover far away — but without this, he knew he would have been checking in for flights to Paris every weekend. Even if Yeehyeon scolded him, even if an angry Yeehyeon treated him coldly, he felt he wouldn't have been able to stand it otherwise. He couldn't imagine how people managed long-distance relationships back when video calls didn't even exist.

Stretching out his legs, he leaned back against the headboard, turned on the camera, and checked his appearance. At the same time, he initiated the call, imagining Yeehyeon burrowing into his bed in Room 601, eagerly anticipating the secret date about to unfold.

After a brief wait, the screen showing his own face shrank and moved to the upper right corner, replaced by Yeehyeon's face. In the meantime, Yeehyeon had also moved from the table to the bed.

Liu rubbed his lips and chuckled — the background on both screens showed only a soft bedside lamp, as if they had arrived at the same decision without saying a word.

"Ah... our intentions are a little too obvious."

He couldn't take his eyes off Yeehyeon, who was smiling silently with his lips pressed together. Just looking at that smile made his pheromones surge. With his knees bent, Liu rested his phone-holding arm over his loosely spread thighs.

"Hmm? What is it... did you change clothes?"

Yeehyeon was wearing a striped long-sleeved T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up a couple of times, but a white shirt collar had momentarily flashed near his neck.

[I borrowed yours... for a moment.]

"Move the camera back a bit. Let me see properly."

Even while asking what it mattered, Yeehyeon still couldn't quite look directly into the camera lens. Only after being badgered a few more times did he reluctantly reach out an arm to show his upper body.

Liu couldn't hide his smile, rubbing his whole lower face with his large hand. What Yeehyeon was wearing was clearly his shirt — one of the spare clothes kept in Room 601's wardrobe.

[When I wear this... it feels a little like we're together...]

Yeehyeon said it as if making an excuse, but there were sweaters and T-shirts in the wardrobe that would have been far more comfortable to wear in bed. If he wanted to feel like he was with Liu by wearing his clothes, there was no need for it to be an uncomfortable dress shirt. The impulse arose to ask a teasing question and see Yeehyeon flustered, but Liu swallowed it down with a dry gulp.

Just like how Liu had spent over thirty minutes picking out clothes before their video call date, the fact that Yeehyeon was conscious of how he appeared in Liu's eyes made him appear even more endearing.

Wearing the shirt with the top buttons undone, Yeehyeon tugged at the loose collar and buried his nose and mouth in the fabric.

"It probably just smells like detergent and fabric softener."

Though he spoke as if he felt no arousal in the current situation, off-screen Liu slid his hand between his own legs. He gripped and squeezed his rapidly hardening erection a couple of times, as if to restrain it, while keeping his eyes on Yeehyeon's image.

[It's just... everything about you smells good.]

Liu couldn't really empathize with the psychology of being enthralled by the sight of his lover wearing his loose-fitting shirt. He didn't understand how anyone could be turned on by such a classic, obvious form of seduction. But there was a reason classics remained classics.

He didn't feel a protective instinct toward Yeehyeon wearing his oversized shirt — it was closer to the sense of intimacy and belonging that came from sharing something he owned with another person.

Seeing him relaxing in a space I use, wearing my clothes without hesitation — that's where the deep closeness came from. And there was a different kind of sexiness in that closeness than the tension or thrill of maintaining distance. I wanted him to belong to me a little more, to become mine more clearly. It felt like that had already been the case for a long time, even before I became conscious of it.

"Just looking at you wearing that shirt, Seo Yeehyeon — I think I could come two or three times."

Yeehyeon, perhaps taking it as an exaggerated joke, smiled with his eyes crinkling. Looking at Yeehyeon smiling with a large white pillow behind him, wearing that white shirt, a sudden, playful yet intimate curiosity arose in Liu.

[So... how many times did you?]

"......"

Liu paused, searching his memory, before recalling their phone call from downstairs where they had discussed the number of times he masturbated — and he burst out laughing.

"If I tell you, you'll probably look at me like I'm some kind of animal."

[I won't.]

Yeehyeon added softly that he knew Liu's libido well enough, his gaze subtly lowered as he fiddled with the hem of the shirt.

"Just to be clear — yes, Alphas have a strong sex drive, but the reason I've been masturbating more lately is because I'm away from you. It's not simply a matter of libido."

What he wanted was Seo Yeehyeon, not to satisfy some general urge. Liu stated this almost indignantly, and Yeehyeon smiled and nodded.

[Then... since we've settled the average, just tell me the highest number of times you've come in a single session.]

"Through masturbation?"

Yeehyeon nodded.

"From when I got back from Paris until now?"

His partner on the screen nodded vigorously, clearly enjoying cornering him like this. Liu had been struggling to suppress his urge to tease back — but here Yeehyeon was, putting him on the spot and finding it entertaining. It felt a little unfair, but honestly, he welcomed this kind of torment from Yeehyeon if it led somewhere.

"Last week, after our date, I did it about six more times on my own."

[......]

Yeehyeon's shocked expression moved further from the camera as the screen shook. Liu swept his falling hair back and pointed at the screen with his index finger.

"You think I'm an animal now, don't you?"

[......]

Yeehyeon quickly denied it, but he couldn't erase that brief moment of hesitation and averted eyes. He muttered, sounding as if he couldn't quite believe it.

[But you came twice while we were on the phone too...]

At the same time last week, they had shared an intimate moment, drawing stimulation from looking at each other through the screen. As Yeehyeon said, Liu had come twice during the call — but it was nowhere near enough.

It wasn't enough unless it was proper sex that lasted for hours — the kind involving caresses, foreplay, enduring the length and weight of Yeehyeon's body, penetration, and knotting repeatedly. Just stroking himself to climax resolved nothing. And he couldn't ask Yeehyeon to watch him masturbate until he was somewhat satisfied.

"I'm not usually like this. I can manage with a typical Beta male's libido. But lately..."

[I know. It's because of me. That's why I don't mind. Quite the opposite, actually...]

Now that Yeehyeon possessed systematic, near-professional knowledge about Alphas and Omegas, he would understand that Liu's current state was one of heightened arousal triggered by a specific Omega he was interacting with.

Yeehyeon's eyes, which had been cast downward as he trailed off, suddenly lit up with life as he met Liu's gaze again.

[There's something I've been curious about for a long time... please answer without laughing.]

"Yes."

Yeehyeon chuckled at the meek reply, cleared his throat several times, and rolled his eyes — buying time as he prepared to ask what he wanted to know.

[Liu... have you ever had sex until you went completely soft on your own?]

"......"

An unexpected question. Liu, not the type to be easily flustered, couldn't help but flinch back when he heard it. Especially because Yeehyeon's expression and tone made it clear this was genuine curiosity, not a sexual joke tossed out to heat things up.

[I'm not trying to dig into your past...]

"Of course I know that."

Liu rubbed his chin, frowning. It wasn't common for Yeehyeon to ask about things like this first. He wanted to answer sincerely, but it required searching through a part of his life he had never been particularly conscious of.

"Never."

[Not once?]

"Not once."

Yeehyeon, having heard it confirmed, let out a low hum and exhaled, sweeping his hair back with a thoughtful look. His hand paused behind his ear, and Liu could tell he was trying to suppress a spreading smile.

It seemed his lover just wanted to confirm some kind of first. Liu lightly pressed his forehead against the top of the phone resting on his knee.

"No one's pheromones have ever broken through my defenses."

[......]

"It was also the first time I didn't find someone else's pheromones unpleasant. The first time I couldn't control knotting or Changing at all."

Liu glanced past the screen at the painting hanging on the wall opposite the bed.

The painting that had comforted him when he was rigid with the alienation of being different from everyone else, and the owner of that painting — the one he had desperately wanted even at the cost of tearing down everything he had ever built about himself. And the one who had given him a second chance on those ruins by choosing a future with the broken version of himself.

That painting and its owner were now within his sight. It wasn't luck that he had ended up holding onto them. Liu didn't believe in fate or destiny, but tracing the journey of how he had met his Didi and arrived here — piercing through a probability so slim it couldn't be calculated — the being before him defied explanation in ordinary language.

The more they were together, the faster his pheromones grew potent. Not long after the first knotting, he reached a point where, once penetration occurred, he could no longer suppress the Changing by any means. That made it all the more necessary to tell him — because without doing so, there was no way to stop it.

A Beta who had so effortlessly breached the defenses that no Golden Omega had ever overcome.

At the time, he hadn't realized it, but when under the influence of Yeehyeon's pheromones, he was a pure Alpha in rut. An Alpha stripped of reason and social graces, governed entirely by the instinct to mix pheromones with the Omega before him and fill his body again and again.

Even an Alpha who was ordinarily gentle, mild-mannered, and affectionate would prioritize instinct in rut. The same was true of an Omega in heat. It was the state that Betas found hardest to understand, and the form Liu himself had most wanted to avoid — the very thing he had never wanted to become.

Yet, how was it that the moment he was overcome by his pheromones, he couldn't feel even the slightest discomfort?

In a way that no words could adequately explain, his lover still didn't quite grasp the absolute significance, the absolute meaning and influence, of Seo Yeehyeon — the first and the absolute. But what did it matter? He was prepared to repeat the story as many times as Yeehyeon wanted to hear it, for the rest of their lives.

"You were always wondering about things like that, lying there as if you didn't have the strength to lift a finger. Seo Yeehyeon."

Liu bent toward the image in his hand and offered a mischievous smile.

[It's just... even right after knotting, you're always hard, so I wondered if you weren't satisfied...]

Yeehyeon, avoiding his gaze while rubbing the back of his neck, was deliberately teasing him.

"First things first — I'd like you to do something about the erection you've got going on. I don't know about you, Seo Yeehyeon, but I've been..."

Liu paused and angled his phone downward. He showed Yeehyeon the taut bulge pressing against the fabric of his briefs — his erection fully engorged, the shape of the head clearly visible through the cloth.

"This is the state I'm in."

When he brought the screen back to his face, Yeehyeon's expression had shifted — clearly on the same wavelength now.

Liu adjusted the phone's angle slightly, tilting his head, trying to find a view that made his face look a little better, even as he felt a flicker of self-disgust at his cheap tactic of using his looks to stoke the other man's desire.

"I want to put Seo Yeehyeon in this state too. What should I do?"

Yeehyeon burst out laughing at the passive statement — as if Liu were ready to move however Yeehyeon wished. The vibration of that laugh seemed to resonate through Liu's own groin.

[Hmm... undo the buttons on your shirt, please.]

As soon as the command was given, Liu reached for his shirt buttons without hesitation. The top two hadn't been fastened in the first place. Holding the phone up toward the ceiling to capture a wider view of his torso, he quickly undid the remaining buttons. He slipped his hand through the opening and broadly swept it across his chest. Yeehyeon let out a low chuckle at the provocative pose — but that laugh had long since moved beyond simple amusement.

Leaning back more loosely, almost half-reclining, he slowly stroked his entire upper body while whispering to Yeehyeon on the screen.

"I wish... you were on top of me right now."

[......]

Liu's voice had already grown low and husky. He pushed the parted halves of his shirt further outward, increasing the exposure. He rubbed over the muscles of his abdomen — clearly defined with his slow, deep breaths — and confessed his desire to Yeehyeon.

"I wish you would sit on my stomach... lean your upper body over my chest... and touch my face."

Yeehyeon on the screen hesitated briefly, then bit his lip hard. He squeezed his thighs together as if fighting the urge to sink his teeth into that reddened flesh.

Listening to their gradually syncing breaths, they focused on each other's image. Unlike actual sex, they could now edit and reveal only the parts they wanted to show. What was visible within the six-inch frame was the image Yeehyeon chose to show — which meant the Yeehyeon outside the screen was the part he wanted to hide. A part he wanted to hide, but one that would soon be revealed.

Yeehyeon's hand hesitated before moving toward his lips. Watching Yeehyeon pinch and twist the flesh between his fingers — just as Liu used to do for him — Liu stroked himself over his briefs off-screen. Even just slowly tracing the outline of his erection, taut as if ready to burst forward, made his hips arch with the desire for penetration.

He held Yeehyeon's gaze and asked,

"Does that feel like you're kissing me?"

Yeehyeon shook his head.

[It's not enough.]

Hearing that petulant voice — a tone Yeehyeon rarely showed outside of sex — Liu groaned low and slipped his hand inside the waistband of his underwear.

With Yeehyeon's body not here to kiss, caress, tease, and explore, there was nothing to do but the tedious act of directly stimulating himself. To even get hard, he didn't need friction — Yeehyeon saying a few words and smiling was more than enough. That was the real problem.

"Have you ever watched the video we made together back then while doing this?"

[......]

Yeehyeon didn't answer, but his downcast eyes already confirmed it. Just picturing Yeehyeon turning to that video they had filmed long ago — replaying it to comfort himself — made Liu's pre-cum surge, wetting his hand as it ran down his length. He tensed his hips as if ready to thrust, but there was nowhere to drive into.

"I want to kiss you... like last time."

[Mm, hngh...]

As if recalling the kiss scene in the video, Yeehyeon let out a low moan and winced. Then he pushed a knuckle of the finger that had been at his lip deep into his mouth. He was slowly coming undone.

"Take your tongue out... and rub it."

After a brief hesitation, Yeehyeon opened his mouth with his finger still inside. His wet, reddish tongue emerged, and his middle and index fingers rolled over it along with his quickened breath.

Liu focused on every movement with an intensity that made heat rise behind his eyes. Hah... ahh... hah... Adjusting his breathing like he was bracing under something heavy, he pushed down the waistband of his briefs and freed his cock. On screen, only up to his pelvis — just to the border where his hair was beginning to grow thick — was visible, but from the movement of his wrist and arm toward the center of his body, Yeehyeon could easily guess everything.

Yeehyeon's shoulders twitched intermittently as he worked his tongue. The sensation in his lower body was likely making his whole sensitive frame flinch.

Yeehyeon's fingers, slick with saliva, disappeared from the screen. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something. Liu found himself licking his own lips with the urge to kiss those slowly blinking eyes. Driven by the same desire to suck each other's tongues, they kept wetting their lips, without either of them caring who started it first.

The cock in his hand was hard and straining. He wanted penetration. He wanted to reach climax through the friction of Yeehyeon's inner walls pressing around him — not through this kind of pointless handwork.

Yeehyeon was already having trouble holding the phone steady, letting his left arm hang down. He propped the phone on the mattress, angling it upward to capture himself. His upper body, clad in a white shirt that exposed the nape of his neck, filled half the screen. He tilted his head slightly, looking down at the lens, and whispered in a small voice.

[That sound...]

"Can you hear it?"

From below, where his hand rapidly stroked his cock, there was a wet, slick friction sound. It was obvious Yeehyeon could hear it — and even though Liu was deliberately adjusting pressure to create that noise, he pretended not to know and insisted on hearing it confirmed.

Yeehyeon glanced sideways at the screen and nodded.

[Show me. I want to see it...]

As requested, he turned the phone. His cock was hard enough to stand straight toward the ceiling without being held. He gripped the vein-raised base and slowly stroked upward toward the head. The sight of his hand pushing all the pre-cum that had been coating and running down his length back up toward the head was fully exposed on the screen.

Liu wanted to provoke Yeehyeon more. He wanted Yeehyeon to desire him more, to be captivated. It wasn't recklessness stemming from having nothing but his body — it was a desire to appeal through his sexual ability. Even while thinking it was a crude and vulgar approach, he couldn't stop. He wanted Yeehyeon to judge him as more worth wanting than anyone else around him.

He knew Yeehyeon always glanced whenever he moved. Liu pulled his cock down until it pressed flat against his lower abdomen, then let it snap back. Each time it sprang up in an arc, pre-cum spattered. He even gripped the base and shook it more overtly. The overly heavy, long shaft bobbed sluggishly, and the sight of it heaving on screen looked even more obscene.

Just the awareness that Yeehyeon was watching made his entire cock throb.

He wondered what expression Yeehyeon had while watching this grotesque display. He adjusted the phone's angle to show from his groin upward. His own face wasn't clearly visible on screen, but he could see Yeehyeon's face — contorted, moaning. Yeehyeon had slid further down than before and was panting heavily.

By that point, all the buttons on the shirt had come undone, and his pale chest occasionally flashed between the parted fabric. Around Yeehyeon's nipples, there was a glistening slickness, as if they had been rubbed with saliva-coated fingers.

"Did you touch your nipples?"

[......]

Realizing Liu was watching, Yeehyeon disappeared from view. The screen shook erratically. When Yeehyeon reappeared, he was biting his lower lip so hard it looked like he might burst into tears. The screen, capturing him from a forty-five-degree side angle rather than straight on, still wobbled unstably up, down, left, and right. The twitch in his right shoulder — with his arm extended downward and not holding the phone — was pronounced.

"Seo Yeehyeon, what are you doing right now?"

[Ngh, ah... hah...]

Yeehyeon didn't answer, just shook his head. Even so, he kept glancing at the screen, unable to tear his eyes away from Liu's cock.

"Yeehyeon-ah, show me."

[N-no... sob...]

As Yeehyeon groaned and lifted his chin, the phone tilted — he disappeared from view, then reappeared. Liu grew impatient.

"We're having sex right now. I've shown you everything."

[......]

Yeehyeon turned his head to look at the screen. It seemed the phone was resting on his left knee, and the face visible on screen was nearly a profile view. An angle only possible if his legs were spread quite wide.

Yeehyeon's face, looking at him through the lens, was flushed deeply red. His cheeks, lips, even the tip of his tongue that peeked out — all of it looked hot and wet, making Liu want to throw himself through the screen.

"Show me."

[......]

A voice full of desperate pleading.

The screen shook violently, like a video shot by a complete amateur in a panic. And at the scene that filled the screen a moment later, Liu swore and had to grip the base of his cock. His upper body lurched upward involuntarily.

As if unable to fully expose himself, the camera — tilted diagonally from above — was trained on the space between Yeehyeon's legs.

Knees spread wide and leaning his upper body against a large pillow with his hips lowered, Yeehyeon had wrapped his arm around from the outside of his thigh and worked his middle finger inside his entrance.

A slick sheen glistened against the dark hair, stark against his pale skin. His smooth lower abdomen rose and fell, and his reddened, swollen cock peeked out from between the parted shirt, giving an even more intimate impression. Because of the half-reclining position against the pillow, his erection lay pressed against his lower abdomen. The screen showed only that — the spread of his legs, and everything between them.

[Hh... ahh, hah...]

Yeehyeon's moans layered over the image on the screen, and Liu's pulse surged violently. His hand, gripping the base of his cock, made it throb and spill pre-cum.

"Can you show me... more closely?"

His dry, cracked voice trembled as he fought to hold himself back.

He knew the sensation Yeehyeon's fingers were exploring — the winding slickness of those inner walls, coated and clinging tight. He was beginning to feel jealous of Yeehyeon's fingers. He wanted to see more.

"Yeehyeon..."

He brought the phone up to his face, urging and pleading. Yeehyeon's face still wasn't visible, but his quickening moans only made Liu more desperate.

[Ngh, hah... Kun...]

"Ah, Yeehyeon-ah."

At the sound of Yeehyeon's strained voice calling out for him, the wide view on the screen suddenly zoomed in dramatically. This time it was extremely close — the tightly gathered folds inside and the movement of his finger joints were vivid, as if viewed up close. The sensation made Liu feel as if his face were pressed against Yeehyeon entirely, and he instinctively drew a deep breath.

The slick fluid seeping around Yeehyeon's fingers ran down the back of his hand, between his spread legs, and dripped onto the sheets. The sheer volume of it — as much as the pre-cum dripping from Liu's own cock — flowed endlessly, as if something inside had burst, as if something had gone wrong.

"This is driving me crazy."

Liu threw his head back against the headboard and muttered through clenched teeth.

[Hah, hngh, Kun...]

Yeehyeon's unseen face, calling out to him with that voice, made Liu feel like he was losing his mind — not from arousal, but because it sounded like Yeehyeon was desperate and in distress. He had no experience handling this level of arousal triggered by pheromones. He wanted desperately to do something for Yeehyeon's heaving, leaking body, but he was 9,000 kilometers away.

"Yeehyeon-ah, I want to suck you."

[Haa, ngh... mmm.]

No matter how many times he swallowed, his throat stayed parched. Liu panted, running his hand rapidly over his cock, every vein in his body feeling ready to rupture from the excitement. The pheromones racing through his blood craved Yeehyeon. The part of him that was Ghost craved Didi. He was howling inside himself, slamming against walls, demanding: bring him here now.

"Seo Yeehyeon, I want to suck you until you're red and soft."

[Do it... suck me... Awi, make it soft for me.]

When they were together, Yeehyeon rarely asked for anything during sex. That was because Liu never left him still long enough to even voice a request.

But phone sex was different. To reach climax with someone absent, they had to ask for impossible touches — and just by asking and receiving a response, imagining the other's tongue slipping into hidden places, they had to intensify their own pleasure. Liu, too, had to be satisfied with the mere fantasy of pushing away Yeehyeon's clumsy fingers and replacing them with his tongue, relentlessly targeting his most sensitive spot. For Alphas and Omegas governed by pheromones — whatever it was for Betas — it was torture.

"My pheromones right now... I think they're about to burst."

Liu, his face scrunched with the strain of it, gripped his cock and arched his back high. Even without being directly under the influence of Yeehyeon's pheromones, he couldn't control his own. When it came to Yeehyeon, his control had never worked properly from the start.

"I want you to smell it. I want to see you go crazy from the smell."

[I want to smell it... Awi's pheromones — they feel like they're still right here.]

He didn't seem to realize it himself, but Yeehyeon's entrance was quivering — softening. Liu was going mad with the need to enter that space, which had prepared itself for him and was pulsing toward him. He wanted to be completely covered in Yeehyeon's pheromones, to hold him and tangle with him like beasts all through the night.

"Me too... I feel like I'm already buried between Seo Yeehyeon's legs... Yeehyeon-ah, spread them wider. Let me inside..."

Unable to suppress the surging instinct any longer, Liu propped himself up, set the phone on the mattress, and rose to his knees. He spread his legs wide, rested his hips on his heels, and wrapped his right hand around his cock. Like most Beta men, just stroking himself to climax wasn't enough to release the heat building inside him. To burn off even a little more energy, Liu looked down at the phone showing the space between Yeehyeon's legs and began thrusting his hips.

Yeehyeon pushed another finger inside. Watching the entrance yield softly, accepting it without any resistance, Liu licked his lips.

[Ugh, mm... ngh...]

As his moans deepened, they softened into something close to sobs.

Yeehyeon carefully spread his fingers inside, grinding his hips against the sheet. Milky, cloudy fluid leaked steadily from the entrance that stretched into a long horizontal oval. Liu clenched his left fist so hard his nails bit into the flesh, then collapsed his upper body onto the mattress.

He wanted to drive his throbbing cock into Yeehyeon's narrow body and thrust until the bed gave out. His entire body felt bound by suffocating chains.

The desire to enter Yeehyeon's body — now transforming into an Omega — the thirst to unite with his Didi, these hungers felt too profound to be described as mere sexual desire. It felt as intrinsically connected to life as the instinct to breathe. As if he would die if he couldn't reach him.

He wanted to hold that body tight and thrust inside for hours through the night. He wanted to rub again against those inner walls, now completely soaked and melted through with the outpouring of pre-cum and semen mixed with Yeehyeon's own slick, until Yeehyeon was writhing — to knot inside him again and again. Even if it made him the kind of Alpha he had despised, mind reduced to pure instinct with every rational structure stripped away, he wouldn't care, as long as it was Yeehyeon.

Listening to Yeehyeon's labored moans while lying face down on the mattress, Liu swept his hand across his face several times.

"Yeehyeon-ah... it's hard, isn't it? Try moving your fingers in and out... just like I did for you, okay? If you come, you'll feel better..."

[Ngh, hah... no... I want you inside me... I want Awi to do it... I don't like this, I don't like it... rub me... I want you to knot... Awi, do it for me...]

At the end of that incoherent rambling, completely stripped of reason, Yeehyeon dropped his phone. The screen aimlessly illuminated the ceiling, but the sounds of his fingers thrusting inside and his sobbing moans continued unabated.

"Yeehyeon-ah... I'm sorry... I really am a terrible person..."

[Kun... Kuun... Hah, ugh, Awi...]

Yeehyeon's voice, calling out to him as if he were in distress and not just aroused, made Liu feel like he was going mad. His cock was racing toward climax, yet at the same time his chest ached with a dull, throbbing pain.

From somewhere beyond the screen, in a place he couldn't see, Yeehyeon seemed to have reached his climax — after which only a delicate, wavering moan persisted, barely continuous, threatening to break yet holding on softly for a while.

Liu tore at the sheets and reached climax shortly after, thrusting his hips without any specific target, but it felt like nothing had been resolved — not physically, not emotionally.

This was their third time, and each session Yeehyeon had drawn him in with an even more honest and openly sexual display than the last — but even amidst all the filthy words and provocative images that drove them both over the edge, what Liu truly wanted at the moment of climax was always, without exception, an embrace and a kiss.

He wanted to hold him, to kiss him. He wanted to answer every one of Yeehyeon's desires. He wanted to stroke the hair of the man trembling and gasping for breath after orgasm, and feel the lingering convulsions inside for a long time.

Still gripping his cock — which hadn't subsided at all — Liu lay face down on the sheets, absently touching the ring on his left hand.

"I miss you."

This time too, it was less a confession to Yeehyeon and more words that escaped his lips as the feeling welling up in his chest exceeded what he could contain. He couldn't even be sure if Yeehyeon, still writhing on the sheets in the afterglow, had heard the murmur.

He picked up the phone, which had been lying face-up toward the ceiling, and angled the screen sideways so it reflected his face as he lay prone. Yeehyeon, resting on his side against the pillow, had apparently been watching him through the lens for some time.

"Was it good?"

Yeehyeon gave a faint smile through a face damp with sweat. His expression was troubled, as if he couldn't quite say whether it had been good or not. His face still carried an unspent passion — still wanting Liu's touch.

"It's still twitching inside. Right?"

Hearing those words seemed to stir something deep in him; Yeehyeon bit his lip hard and lowered his gaze. Then, as if trying to change the subject, he brushed the hair clinging to his face aside and asked with a trace of a teasing smile.

[Today... do you think you'll do it a few more times later?]

Though he was pretending his senses had returned after climax, his voice still held a faint tremor. Lying with his cheek against the sheets, Liu pushed himself up onto his elbows, propped himself there, and laced his fingers together, running them through his hair. He bit his lower lip and stared into space with narrowed eyes, as if lost in deep thought.

"Hmm... I don't think I want to today."

[Liar.]

Liu stroked Yeehyeon's face across the screen as he laughed mockingly, clearly not believing him. It didn't matter if Yeehyeon took it as a joke. In fact, he hoped Yeehyeon wouldn't know the full extent of his loneliness. Knowing just enough to confirm affection was plenty.

"We're meeting in a few days, so I'm going to practice abstinence starting today."

[Ah... you don't have to. I won't tease you. It might not be good for your health either....]

Watching Yeehyeon stiffening his expression in earnest — as if genuinely concerned about the level of desire that would be unleashed after a few days of abstinence — and trying seriously to talk him out of it, Liu felt an overwhelming urge to shower the screen with kisses. He was surprised at how naturally he was craving that kind of affection, the very sort he had once mocked as childish and overly dramatic.

Instead of confessing that even masturbation now felt like a self-flagellating confirmation that Yeehyeon wasn't beside him, he pushed past his shyness and self-consciousness, puckered his lips, and leaned in.

[......]

Yeehyeon, realizing what was being asked for, buried his face in the pillow and let out a soft snort. Liu knew it was silly behavior that didn't suit him, but having decided to be childish anyway, he waited without giving up. Yeehyeon turned back to the screen, still smiling, rolling his eyes and clearing his throat a couple of times as if deliberating. Then he pursed his lips, leaned in, pressed them close enough to make a distinct smacking sound, and pulled back.

Out of embarrassment — or something else — he disappeared from the screen with a muffled little sound. Hearing his laughter from behind the pillow, Liu shook his shoulders and let out a laugh of his own. They were both aware this wasn't like them, but Liu justified it by thinking that this level of childishness, occasionally sneaking into a 9,000-kilometer long-distance relationship, was something they could be allowed.

"Just so you know, I'm not going to let you sleep for an entire week. Actually, even if Seo Yeehyeon does fall asleep, I'm going to keep going."

He declared this to Yeehyeon, who had returned to the screen, in a voice as puffed up as a child's.

For Liu, the number 9,000 kilometers wasn't a physical problem so much as an emotional one. Though it was more painful than he had anticipated, he always carefully phrased things so Yeehyeon would perceive it as the bittersweet longing that accompanies a long-distance relationship. Compared to the days when he had to secretly steal glimpses by flying back and forth to Paris every weekend, this was a bearable pain — a happy, dreamlike one worth embracing.

· PARIS ·

The collaborative work proceeded in a relay format.

Without any prior planning, Yeehyeon had faced the canvas first, using a palette knife to cover its entire surface with a deep blue tone, emphasizing rough texture. Ben then collaged in photographs of night-sky clouds that he had graphically enhanced. As if they had agreed on a specific theme from the start, the deep indigo sea and the night sky blended harmoniously, pointing in the same direction.

Taking it back, Yeehyeon was in the process of blurring the boundaries between the photographs and the background by overpainting the joints where they met and adding three-dimensional clouds using gesso and paint.

Since Ben's photographs were printed on a dedicated canvas using UV flatbed printing, it was possible to work over them with oil paint. Yeehyeon chuckled to himself, thinking this was probably the most modern artistic technique he had ever personally experienced.

When he had cautiously decided to start painting again, he couldn't have imagined a joint project with another person, let alone one mixing different genres. After all, he hadn't even been certain he could truly paint again.

"Even before you knew about the Changing, you knew you had to go to Paris."

What Liu had said in the car, on that rainy beach in Donghae, was right. He shouldn't have given up the opportunity he had earned by settling within the limits Liu provided, out of fear of physical distance. He had subconsciously known this — which was why he hadn't told Liu about the offer from The Hands, using the excuse that discussing it wouldn't change his mind anyway.

The embrace of first love had been comfortable.

Within Liu's unconditional acceptance and understanding, he felt as if his past was being compensated for. The protection offered by someone who possessed life experience and convictions verified through that experience held a different kind of strength than the bonds shared with peers. If Liu hadn't pushed forward, albeit somewhat recklessly, he wouldn't have even considered painting again at that time.

But the past — which was not his fault — could not be compensated for by Liu. Nor should it have been.

Yeehyeon paused his brushstrokes for a moment, straightened his back, and walked over to the table by the entrance. He turned up the music playing through the Bluetooth speaker in the studio slightly, stretched for a moment, and drank his now-cold coffee.

Aside from one person working on a sculpture, Yeehyeon was the only one left in the spacious, open, L-shaped shared studio. In the quiet space — where there were no footsteps or small sounds of tools being set down or picked up, only music — he wasn't sure if the colleague who had been working around the far corner, out of his line of sight, had already returned to their room.

Although the coffee was already cold, Yeehyeon cradled the mug as if warmth might transfer from it, then looked back at the piece he had just been working on.

The canvas, measuring 250 centimeters wide and 180 centimeters tall, was a large size Yeehyeon had never handled before. However, since his method didn't involve highly detailed depiction, filling the canvas itself wasn't overly burdensome despite its size.

But working on a canvas this large in his usual solitary style would demand considerable mental and physical focus and energy. Boldly filling such a wide surface with a knife was a new experience, and this piece also proved quite helpful in reassessing his own shortcomings. He wanted to build up his stamina and felt the need for more in-depth study of color mixing.

For now, rather than settling on a fixed style, he preferred to naturally reflect his own changes within his paintings — even if it invited criticism from reviewers who saw him as an amateur for failing to present a unique style. And there were quite a few critics who viewed Yeehyeon unfavorably from that perspective.

The only rule Ben and Yeehyeon had set for this work was to focus solely on the rhythm guided by the lens and the brush at every moment, without trying to convey anything specific or implant any particular meaning.

Abandoning any intention or design for how the work should take shape and relying solely on the sensation in one's fingertips — this would have been an impossible approach for Yeehyeon when he first joined The Hands. Back then, he believed that meticulously conceptualizing something beforehand and expressing it exactly as conceived, without deviation, was the only way to show respect, diligence, and seriousness toward art. According to his peers, it was a period where he was as strict as a monk.

Yeehyeon remembered the decisive turning point that had made it possible to transfer his current self onto the canvas so naturally, without doubt.

Just as an athlete adheres to training at the same time every day, regardless of weather or physical condition, Yeehyeon had come down to his studio at his usual time that day. Following his routine of continuing with sketches — whether drawing or coloring — until a specific plan took shape, he selected a canvas and sat before the easel. He was simply thinking of warming up his hands.

The size of the canvas, the color combinations on the plastic-wrapped palette, the selection of the appropriate technique — none of it required any labored thought. He moved without hesitation, as if following a perfect plan. It was as if he had become a dancer who could move his body exactly as he wished to express, or a singer who could wield his voice like an instrument.

Just like the sex with Liu — which had felt like liberation and freedom, breaking free from all taboos and the frameworks of learned socialization — Colorful Ghost was painted in a state of immersion, loyal only to the present moment and to himself.

And while painting it, he knew it was time to face Liu again, that he wanted it.

Just as no special awakening is needed to realize hunger or the desire to sleep, just as no forceful power is required for a rosebud whose flower bud has matured to bloom — it happened quite naturally.

The clear sense of relief he had felt back then — when no doubt remained about his choices and it felt as though all residue had been cleanly purged — had not lingered in his head, but in his body, in his palms, his cheeks, his lips, and deeper inside. It was an experience that had become a part of him, rather than something that would vanish as a temporary phenomenon.

Yeehyeon set down his mug, picked up his brush again, and knelt before the canvas. He could only finally put the brush down after enough time had passed for Jeff Beck's Blow by Blow album — which Juhan had first introduced him to at his apartment — to play through once more.

The music, which had seemed miles away while he was deep in concentration, gradually filtered into his ears. The introduction to the final track, "Diamond Dust," was just beginning. When Yeehyeon later told Liu about this coincidence over the phone, he had to struggle not to sound too excited.

Only after cleaning up for about another thirty minutes did Yeehyeon finally leave the shared studio on the second floor. He hadn't meant to skip dinner, but having focused entirely on finishing the piece meant he had been locked in for a full seven hours. Some of his colleagues often stayed holed up in the studio for twenty hours straight when inspiration struck, but this was rare for Yeehyeon. Now that he was aware of the time spent, he felt a wave of exhaustion drain from his body.

"Seo Yeehyeon."

Just as Yeehyeon was about to step onto the stairs leading to the third floor, he paused, gripping the railing and looking down at the landing below. Yuni, dressed comfortably in jeans and a thick plaid jacket, was ascending the stairs carrying a small bouquet. She looked like she was just returning from a date.

"What are you doing here? You were in the studio this late?"

"Yeah. I finished the collaborative work with Ben today."

Looking down at the flowers in her hand, Yuni offered the bouquet to Yeehyeon as if bestowing a favor, inviting him to smell them.

They were zinnias, faded pink — the same flowers that had decorated the terrace when Liu proposed.

Yeehyeon leaned down toward the simple bouquet, which was wrapped haphazardly in clear OPP plastic, the stems cut unevenly and tied with a ribbon, with no real attempt at proper packaging.

Yuni's smile didn't fade as she explained that Michelle had bought them for her after they passed a flower stall inside the subway station just before it closed, catching the last-minute sale while passing by on their date.

"They smell nice."

"Right? They say the color stays beautiful even after they dry, so I want to try drying this bunch."

The flowers, the last ones left unsold, were already slightly wilted on the outside, but the insides were still fresh. Watching Yuni gently touch the soft petals, Yeehyeon couldn't help but think of Liu. There were many things that reminded him of Liu, but whenever he encountered one unexpectedly and off guard like this, he had to struggle quite a bit to manage the longing.

"Hey, do you have a fever? Your face is flushed, and your eyes look a little glazed over."

"Hmm? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just sleepy."

Yuni pulled down Yeehyeon's hand as he rubbed his eyelids, then lifted his bangs and placed her hand on his forehead.

"You do have a fever. It feels pretty high — did you not realize? You must have overworked yourself."

"If I don't finish today, the exhibition schedule gets disrupted."

"One day won't be the end of the world. You're so diligent. Can you rest now?"

"Yeah, if I take medicine and sleep well tonight I should be fine. So, nuna..."

"Yes?"

Seeing Yeehyeon hesitate, rubbing the railing, Yuni crinkled her nose as if she understood and gave his shoulder a light pat.

"Got it. I'll keep it a secret from the Director."

"It's nothing serious, just a slight fever, but since he can't see me in person, I didn't want him worrying unnecessarily..."

He tried hard to explain himself, not wanting to seem like they were having an overly dramatic relationship, but Yuni didn't seem inclined to tease him. Perhaps she had become more lenient because she herself was in a relationship that was quite conspicuous.

Perhaps it was hearing about the fever. After returning to his room, washing up, and coming out again, he did feel like he was coming down with something. He wanted nothing more than to get into bed quickly — too lazy even to fetch medicine — but he knew he couldn't neglect self-care, thinking of the person who would worry.

He took cold medicine from the first-aid kit on the shelf above the sink and swallowed two pills as recommended on the small cardboard box. With weakness draining the strength from his lower back and legs, he leaned back and flopped onto the bed as soon as he sat down.

"......"

Yeehyeon lay sprawled across the middle of the bed with his legs dangling off the side, fiddling with his phone. He opened the messenger app and scrolled back through the conversations he'd had with Liu that day. Most of it was just routine daily reports or silly, sometimes childish banter, but reviewing it at the end of the day made him smile. The reality of being in a relationship with him — a long-distance one at that — was slowly building up, thread by thread, within the chat window.

It was early morning in Seoul. If Phantom were open for business, this would be the time Liu was getting ready for work, but he was probably just waking up slowly now, about to start his day.

Though he didn't want to wake Liu if he was still tossing and turning between sleep and wakefulness, Yeehyeon hesitated for a moment before tapping the call icon.

[Are you done with work?]

The call connected instantly, as if Liu had been waiting. Yeehyeon covered his eyes with the back of his hand and smiled silently. Judging by how relaxed his voice sounded, he fortunately hadn't just woken up.

"Yes. I'm in my room now."

[Your voice... sounds hoarse.]

"Uh... I guess it's because I'm tired. My work took a bit longer than usual today."

[Then get some good, deep sleep right away.]

"Yes, I'm sleepy. Hmm... I might sleep for a really long time."

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and spoke slowly.

[Don't worry if I don't contact you — just rest and sleep well.]

He found it amusing that Liu was telling him not to worry about Liu worrying, and he chuckled weakly while turning onto his side. Although Liu had urged him to sleep quickly out of consideration, Yeehyeon didn't want to hang up.

"What were you doing?"

It was a question that might sound perfunctory or formal from a stranger, but directed at someone you love, it became an expression of interest.

Liu gave a very detailed report: he had started his day a little earlier than usual because of a strange dream, and to lift his spirits, he had made himself an English breakfast — even grilling two pancakes to go with it — and had just finished eating and was now drinking coffee.

Since Liu seemed to be looking for praise for having made his own breakfast, Yeehyeon complimented him a few times. Moments like these, where the age difference became irrelevant and the fixed roles of older and younger reversed, were also part of the reality of being in a relationship. Imagining Liu bowing his head just slightly and himself stroking his hair, Yeehyeon muffled his laughter so Liu wouldn't notice.

"The pancakes you made were delicious."

[I'll make as many as you want when we meet.]

"I want to see you soon."

[......]

After a moment of silence on the other end of the line, a gently soothing voice followed.

[If you can hold out just one more day, we can meet the day after tomorrow.]

It made him smile that it was always him brushing off Liu's expressions of missing him like this. Yeehyeon pulled his legs up onto the bed and buried his face in the pillow. His eyelids felt heavy, but he wanted to hear Liu's voice longer. Perhaps his heart had weakened along with his body, because a rare urge to be deliberately clingy arose. But if the call went on much longer, Liu would sense how he was feeling. He didn't want to burden Liu, who was about to start his day. If he focused on recovering by the day after tomorrow, when Liu would arrive, he thought he could get through it without Liu noticing he'd been a little sick.

"I'm going to sleep now. Have a good day."

[Sleep well. Dream of me.]

Yeehyeon ended the call smiling, appreciating Liu's playful attempt to add a deliberate cheesiness to his voice.

Unlike Seoul, where morning was beginning, this place was deep in the night and utterly silent. Both inside the apartment and in the alley outside the window, everything was quiet.

The feeling of sinking deep into the mattress, growing hazy in the stillness, was not entirely unpleasant. It was somewhat similar to the moment one succumbs to pheromones. Though he felt he could fall asleep at any moment, his insides were strangely unsettled. Pulling the blanket up to his shoulders and closing his eyes, Yeehyeon reached an arm out toward the shelf by his head.

Among his everyday items — a few books he was currently reading, his wallet, wristwatch, keys, and the framed picture he had received from Suki Kim — he picked up the black leather case resting side-by-side and lay back down.

Every time his left hand briefly flashed into view during their video calls, his gaze drifted to the ring. He had never mentioned it to Liu, but seeing the ring glistening on those long, straight fingers gave him a strange sense of satisfaction, fulfilling an urge of possessiveness and ownership he hadn't even known he had.

No — he had been vaguely aware of these desires regarding Liu before. It was simply that Liu had always provided more than enough to satisfy them without ever needing to be asked or pressured, so there had been no opportunity to express them.

Perhaps Liu and he were only just now officially starting a romantic relationship. That didn't mean the depth of their feelings was at the beginning stage.

The love that had matured within him and the realm of dating — the method for expressing and exchanging that love — could seem to coincide yet function separately. It was strange that while their very existence was already deeply rooted in each other's lives, the form of their romance felt similar to that of couples just beginning their relationship.

It wasn't the imbalance where one speeds ahead, focusing so intensely on the other that everything else falls away. It wasn't the blind anxiety of wanting to leap straight into deep connection, skipping all the in-between stages. It was a relationship where he wanted to know the small details of everyday life, carefully expressed jealousy, and yet — not simply to satisfy his own possessiveness, but willingly self-censored and restrained himself to be a faithful, understanding partner. This time, it was that kind of relationship.

Liu had wanted to come here more often. It was Yeehyeon himself who had limited his visits to once a month, vowing not to let this relationship tear down his routine or his life. Most of the time, it was bearable, but sometimes it was incredibly difficult.

"Even if you suddenly want to see me on a whim, I'll rush over right away."

There were times he wanted to ignore the rule he'd set for himself — once a month — and summon Liu, using that old promise as an excuse. It was all the more tempting because he knew Liu would fly over instantly if he simply said he wanted to see him. The relationship with Liu was what made life here more vibrant than before, but the reason he felt an even deeper loneliness was the emptiness of Liu not being here. The physical ache of not being able to touch or hold him was, in some ways, far more potent and vivid than any abstract idea.

In reality, he dreamed of Liu more often than he talked to him about it. He also couldn't tell Liu that sometimes he would sit alone in this room, gazing blankly at the ring in its case.

Yeehyeon closed the lid of the case, unable even to put it back in its proper place before being wearily pulled into sleep. Liu's parting remark — dream of me — had been meant as a joke to make him laugh, but just for tonight, Yeehyeon wished that remark could become a spell.