Fiancé (2)

Liu, having finished all his preparations to leave for the airport, stood at the kitchen counter. He intended to share one last cup of coffee with Yeehyeon.

As his fingertips guided the hot water over the filter in the dripper, the aroma of coffee spread throughout the studio.

Their home in Seoul was equipped with a fairly serious espresso machine. When the mood struck him, he would often brew coffee quite deliberately, starting by grinding the beans with a manual grinder. And yet even in Paris, he had never bothered to buy so much as a capsule machine, always preparing his coffee by hand pour-over.

He placed the filter paper in the dripper, wet it with hot water, then added the finely ground beans. He brewed the coffee by slowly pouring the hot water — boiled in a dedicated pitcher rather than an electric kettle. Drip coffee made this way had a charm entirely its own, quite apart from espresso.

He also liked the fact that he could make something for Yeehyeon using only his own hands, from start to finish, without any machine between them.

"Kun, the Van Gogh bear."

"Huh?"

"The teddy bear from the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam."

"Oh, right."

"You packed it, didn't you? Juhan hyung kept saying it was a special request."

Liu, who had just finished pouring the first round of water over the dripper, glanced back over his shoulder. Yeehyeon stood stock-still in the middle of the studio, wearing Liu's sweatshirt over his jeans, hands on his hips. He had been pacing around anxiously like that for an hour. It was unlike him.

Liu deliberately kept his tone relaxed.

"It's already in the carry-on."

"Are you sure? Should I open it up and check again?"

"Yeehyeon-ah."

Yeehyeon, who had been about to walk toward the carry-on propped by the front door, stopped and turned. Liu held up two mugs at eye level.

"Coffee's ready. Come sit for a bit."

"But... Kun forgot the tablet last time too."

"That was once. And there was no problem because you sent it to me via FedEx."

"Now that you mention it, did you pack the tablet? You were looking at it this morning."

Yeehyeon moved to rummage through Liu's Boston bag resting on top of the carry-on.

"Seo Yeehyeon."

"......"

Liu, who had already gone to sit at the table, turned his left wrist to check the time. The car to the airport was scheduled to arrive in fifteen minutes.

"Come here and spend a little more time with me."

Though his face was still reluctant, Yeehyeon withdrew the hand that had been reaching for the bag's zipper and approached the table. Liu placed Yeehyeon's mug not across from him but at his own side — a signal to sit there. Yeehyeon let out a small laugh, circled the table, and sat down next to him.

Liu gripped the seat of Yeehyeon's chair and dragged it close with a slight grating sound, then turned his whole body toward him. He carefully brushed back Yeehyeon's messy bangs and pressed his palm to his forehead.

"The fever still hasn't gone down."

Yeehyeon, who had been savoring the warmth and aroma with the mug cupped in both hands, chuckled softly.

"How much could it drop in ten minutes?"

Ten minutes earlier, Liu had stopped Yeehyeon, placed his palm on his head, and said the exact same thing. And ten minutes before that, and ten minutes before that.

Since transferring trains in Dijon the day before, Yeehyeon had been showing mild flu-like symptoms. A car had been waiting at Lyon Station to take them to Room 601. But Liu had headed straight for the clinic with Yeehyeon instead.

It just feels like a mild cold.

Yeehyeon had been reluctant to go.

It could be a symptom related to the manifestation.

I'd rather just go home and rest...

We promised that if anything felt even slightly off, we'd see a doctor immediately.

The director probably isn't seeing patients today.

That's exactly why we pay for the expensive package — so they'll see you when something like this happens. Don't worry about that.

In the car, Liu had been plagued by anxiety the entire time. He couldn't even lean his head comfortably against the headrest. Yeehyeon, who had slept soundly on the train, leaned against the window again — perhaps from the fever — and drifted off. Liu moved to the middle seat and carefully supported Yeehyeon's head, letting him rest it on his shoulder. He prayed that this fever had nothing to do with the manifestation, that nothing was wrong.

Fortunately, the attending physician diagnosed it as a common cold.

Only then could Liu finally relax his shoulders, let out a long breath, and manage an awkward smile.

"You were right. I'm sorry for dragging you all the way out here when you have a fever."

That was what Liu had said in the backseat of the car as they headed to Room 601. Yeehyeon, taking his hand, rested his head on his shoulder and replied,

"As long as Kun is relieved, that's all that matters."

His voice trailed off listlessly, and he soon drifted back to sleep.

Although his fever had risen slightly overnight, his condition was significantly better by morning. It was a low-grade fever, hovering between 37.5 and 38 degrees Celsius. Even so, Yeehyeon had skipped his morning work to stay with Liu. It was extremely rare for him to take time off for something this mild — even immediately after returning from a forty-day trip.

"I'm glad you're better than yesterday."

"This is just a slight fever. People will tease us for being overprotective."

"Let them tease. It's the truth."

At Liu's candid admission, Yeehyeon chuckled faintly, staring down into his mug. Unlike Liu, who had turned his entire body toward him, Yeehyeon hadn't looked over even once.

"Seo Yeehyeon, are you not going to look at me?"

"..."

"I wanted to see your face at least one more time before I go."

Only then did Yeehyeon hesitate and turn his head. Though he was much better now, his face was still blotchy from suffering through a fever all night. Liu gently brushed his thumb across the cheek reddened by the heat. Despite his worry, looking at him kept making Liu smile.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

That smile clearly displeased his lover.

"How am I smiling?"

"It's the smile you make when you're having sneaky thoughts."

"That's right. I was having some sneaky thoughts."

"You're thinking that, looking at me in this state?"

Yeehyeon sounded incredulous. Liu leaned his upper body further toward him and pressed his entire palm against his cheek.

"Your eyes and the tip of your nose are all red... you look exactly like you do after I've really worn you out."

"......"

At the close distance, Yeehyeon's gaze wavered. His pressed lips gave away his embarrassment. Liu leaned in even closer on purpose.

"So? What do you think you look like right now?"

"A mess."

"You're all flushed and dazed... honestly, it's even sexier than usual."

"You're unbelievable."

Yeehyeon let out a laugh and pushed at Liu's chest. Liu only chuckled, catching his hand.

"Even that slightly stuffy voice — kind of nasal — is so cute I could die."

Then he bit the tip of Yeehyeon's fingernail, gently, without causing pain.

"Whose boyfriend is so cute and lovely even when he's sick? Huh?"

"That's because Kun loves me."

Wrapping his hands back around the mug after quietly reclaiming it, Yeehyeon spoke quietly, almost to himself — as if embarrassed to put Liu's love into words.

Having had his hand taken back, Liu rested his elbow on the table, propped his chin up, and watched Yeehyeon drink his coffee, tilting his head slightly.

"I'm glad you know."

"......"

"That I love you that much."

Yeehyeon laughed briefly, as if resigned to Liu's persistence, but soon gazed at him with a warm and earnest expression.

"How could I not know?"

And he added,

"You convey it every day, every moment, with your whole being."

"......"

"No matter how dull I am — how could I possibly not know?"

Liu pressed his forehead against the curve of Yeehyeon's shoulder. Then, rubbing his lips along the line of his neck, he moved up toward his ear. He could feel Yeehyeon's shoulders tense. It was a sexual tension. Nuzzling his nose against the earlobe where a familiar, tender scent lingered, he lightly caught the soft lobe between his lips.

"Ha…."

A sweet sigh escaped Yeehyeon. His trembling eyelashes were briefly visible.

"Is it because you're in pain? Your scent is stronger than usual."

"Do I smell?"

A worried face turned toward him. When Yeehyeon turned his head, his nose was close enough to brush against Liu's cheek. Looking down at his lips, Liu enveloped the back of his neck with his palm.

"Don't be silly. It's not a smell — it's a fragrance."

Then, without another moment's hesitation, he turned his head and pressed his lips to Yeehyeon's. He pressed them together gently — lips warm with the scent of coffee — and savored the fullness as he moved them ever so slightly. Smack... smack. He repeatedly parted and then held their lips together amid soft, ticklish sounds. Then Liu's tongue slipped between Yeehyeon's lips. As it pressed deeper, the inside of his mouth — dried by the fever — felt so hot it seemed ready to melt.

"Mmm..."

Liu was so completely absorbed in the kiss that he momentarily forgot Yeehyeon was sick. That flushed heat, more intense than usual, felt wonderfully intoxicating, and he didn't want to leave it. He relentlessly chased after Yeehyeon's tongue as it retreated and shrank away, pushing his own beneath it. Seizing the moment when Yeehyeon's tongue was inevitably pushed up over his own, Liu sucked it into his mouth.

"H, haa…."

Yeehyeon moaned from deep in his throat, pleading, as his tongue was drawn in.

As intense as the desire he felt for Yeehyeon in that moment, Liu gripped his shoulders and pulled him closer — hard enough that his fingernails went pale and the veins on the back of his hand beneath his watch stood out blue. He kept up the pressure, kneading and coaxing Yeehyeon's hot tongue between his own and the roof of his mouth, until finally he sucked it in so deeply it went numb. It was a kiss perhaps a little too much for someone who was sick.

"Hhh, hhh… uh-hmm."

Just as Yeehyeon's breathing grew ragged, Liu eased the pressure. Still holding him close, watching him, he continued with light kisses until the gasping had settled completely.

Then, pressing their foreheads together, he spoke in a voice laced with a hint of apology.

"Was that a little much?"

"A little."

"Why? Were you worried your pheromones might leak out?"

"......"

Yeehyeon couldn't answer.

His lips, dry moments before from the deep kiss, were now moist. Pressing the back of his hand against his mouth, Yeehyeon glared at Liu with resentment.

Liu felt the same slight jolt. He wanted to deliberately release his pheromones to provoke Yeehyeon. But this was a situation he couldn't take responsibility for right now. If he pushed things any further, he felt he would genuinely earn Yeehyeon's hatred this time.

Glancing sideways at Yeehyeon drinking his coffee, Liu brought his own mug to his lips.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it when you're wearing my clothes."

"Isn't that a strange fixation?"

"A fixation? Would you call it love?"

"How is that love?"

"I like seeing you in my clothes, I like you coming here to stay when I'm away, and I like that you use my things so freely."

"......"

"Yours, mine. It feels like those boundaries are dissolving."

Yeehyeon looked at Liu with an expression of deep emotion, clearly regretting having dismissed it so lightly. Liu set his mug down, leaned in close, and whispered against his ear:

"Just like when we have sex."

Drrrk. At that moment, Liu's phone on the far side of the table buzzed briefly. Liu stretched his arm out — nearly collapsing across the table — to grab it. It was a message from the driver announcing his arrival. Having missed the moment to chide Liu, Yeehyeon simply watched him.

"I should get going now."

Liu said this in a voice tinged with reluctance and stood up from his chair. Suddenly, Yeehyeon grabbed the front of his shirt. It was an uncharacteristically urgent movement.

"......"

When Liu looked down, Yeehyeon himself seemed startled and flustered by his own action. He let go of the shirt, hesitated, then stood up from his seat.

"I'll walk you out."

"You're not feeling well — why don't you just see me off at the entrance?"

"It's not that bad. I'm just a little groggy."

Yeehyeon slipped a light coat over his sweatshirt, grabbed his keys, and followed him out.

In the elevator descending to the first floor, Liu held tightly onto Yeehyeon's shoulder. As he always did when they parted, Yeehyeon wrapped both arms around Liu's waist and was generous with his affection — more so than usual.

"I'm worried about you being alone when you're sick."

"You know me. I take good care of myself."

"That's true. There's nothing to worry about with you, Seo Yeehyeon. I know there's nothing to worry about... but I'm still worried, you know?"

"If I feel even a little bit worse, I promise I'll call you right away. Okay?"

It was exactly the kind of answer one would expect from Seo Yeehyeon. Only then did Liu relax and manage a smile.

The afternoon in Paris, transitioning from late autumn to early winter, was quite chilly. It wasn't cold enough yet to make you hunch your shoulders, but Liu was concerned.

While the driver loaded the luggage into the trunk, the two exchanged their final farewells. Liu carefully buttoned Yeehyeon's coat up to his neck and cupped his face with both hands.

"Don't overdo it, alright?"

He gave a quick kiss to the lips that nodded in agreement, then pulled him into a tight embrace. The words I don't want to leave rose to the tip of his tongue, but knowing they would only make his lover suffer more, he swallowed them down.

"We'll meet again in three weeks. It'll be fun catching up with Morae and Yeehan after so long. I'm looking forward to it."

A nod.

"Three weeks will fly by."

A nod.

It was impossible to tell whether Liu was saying those words to soothe Yeehyeon or to hypnotize himself. Though they would soon spend countless hours together again, this parting felt unusually difficult. They had been inseparable every day for forty days. It wasn't easy to let go. Even the Parisians, who generally paid little attention to others, glanced at the pair as they passed. That's how long the hug lasted.

"Sir, you need to leave now."

The driver, who had loaded all the luggage and was waiting, urged him on carefully. Liu loosened his arms but couldn't pull them completely away from Yeehyeon's body.

"Hurry and go inside."

Again, Yeehyeon responded only with a nod.

Liu joked, pointing his fingers upward toward Room 601.

"Call me when you get home. I'll worry otherwise."

Fortunately, Yeehyeon managed a smile.

The driver approached and opened the rear door — a silent pressure to let go and get in. Liu got into the vehicle while still holding Yeehyeon's hand. The moment those fingertips finally slipped free, he felt as if his own heart had dropped.

Thud. The driver shut the door, splitting them apart. Liu rolled down the tinted window.

"Hurry up and go inside. You look pale."

Yeehyeon, with both hands shoved into the pockets of his overcoat, nodded with a face that was neither crying nor smiling. Liu's face, trying hard to smile for him, was no different.

"Shall I depart, sir?"

Liu reluctantly nodded at the driver.

He waved, trying his best to smile as brightly as possible. Yeehyeon took one hand out of his pocket and waved back.

Yeehyeon gradually receded in the side mirror. Liu couldn't tear his eyes away. Yeehyeon was still standing there facing him, unable to take a single step.

"This is inhuman."

Liu muttered, dragging a hand roughly over his face. He was shaking his head without realizing it — and still couldn't look away from the mirror.

The limousine had moved about a block from Room 601. Liu, staring intently at the mirror, furrowed his brow and leaned forward. Yeehyeon in the mirror had slowly begun to move his legs. Then, picking up speed, he started running after the car.

It wasn't a full sprint. His steps were clumsy — as if he were chasing after something lost, unable to do anything else — far too slow to catch a moving vehicle. He looked like a small child separated from the person who kept him safe, lost in an unfamiliar place and utterly at a loss.

"Stop — stop the car!"

Liu urgently shouted, tapping the back of the passenger seat.

As soon as the car stopped, he leaped out. He didn't even have the presence of mind to close the door. He ran back at full speed along the road the car had just taken, toward Yeehyeon. It was the first time since becoming an adult that he had run like this anywhere outside of a treadmill.

As Yeehyeon's face came closer, it looked like he was crying. Liu, nearly losing his mind, sped up until the soles of his feet were burning. The moment he was within reach, he pulled Yeehyeon into his arms. Sob, sob. Yeehyeon was weeping. Liu gasped for breath and held on tighter.

"It's okay, Yeehyeon-ah. It's okay...."

He didn't ask why he was crying, why he had followed, why he was doing things he'd never done before. He simply held him, lowered his head, pressed his lips against his ear, and tried to soothe him with his body, his scent, and his voice.

"Can't you... stay a little longer before you go?"

His trembling voice barely managed to push the words through his sobs.

Liu squeezed his eyes shut.

"Tomorrow... no, even the next flight... that would be fine."

"Yeehyeon-ah."

Yeehyeon's hands gripped the back of Liu's jacket tightly.

"Don't go... I'm scared."

He couldn't believe he had made Yeehyeon say those words to him again.