Craving for Change

The raindrops hammered against the windowpane with a sharp intensity, driven by the strong wind. Intermittently, it sounded as if someone were throwing handfuls of sand against the glass with all their might. The rain seemed ready to burst through the thick soundproof windows and flood the room.

However, the reason I couldn't sleep wasn't the eerie sound of the rain or the unfamiliar bed. I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep tonight no matter where I lay down.

He had readily promised to pay the advance, but he advised that keeping this matter secret from Morae nuna and Yeehan hyung was not a good idea. He suggested it would be better to explain the situation, if only to persuade them to leave sooner.

I had only sent a suspicious message saying I had to leave early today due to an urgent matter, but after talking with him, I messaged the two of them again to set up a meeting. My plan was to meet them first thing in the morning to explain the situation and my plans, and then meet with uncle together.

I had assumed he was the type of person who leaves every choice solely to the individual. I thought he would be extremely cautious about influencing another person's life with that kind of advice.

But his advice was surprisingly serious, and just as surprisingly persuasive. It was different from the common counsel someone might throw out carelessly based on generalities, without taking responsibility. It was a carefully constructed plan, drawing on his own experience, wisdom, and logic, and it coolly filled the gaps in my own reasoning, which had been intermittently riddled with fear and anxiety.

Did I even properly thank him? Tonight alone, I had so many things for which I needed to express my gratitude properly...

I turned over in bed, facing the ceiling, and settled onto my side, pulling the warm duvet up to my shoulders. The guest room on the first floor that he had shown me was located directly beneath his bedroom. I looked over at the other empty single bed and imagined him lying directly above me in the same position.

My body temperature seemed to have returned completely to normal, yet a chill lingered deep within me, making me shiver faintly. I wrapped my arms around myself inside the sufficiently comfortable and warm blankets. I pulled the chest of the loungewear he had given me closer and buried my nose in it. I could only faintly catch the scent of clean fabric softener, unable to smell his particular, distinct fragrance.

I knew how to fall asleep. I knew what my racing, unsettled heart wanted. There was no need to bother with the tedious process of being honest with myself.

I threw off the covers and got out of bed.

Feeling my way through the dark hallway where I could barely make out the faint outline of objects, I traced the wall and climbed the stairs. Barefoot, without even putting on slippers, I slowly approached the bedroom located in the deepest part of the second floor.

The door was not completely closed, as if waiting for me.

Without knocking, I gently pushed the door open with my fingertips.

It was rude, but I had a strong feeling that knocking would be unnecessary. Knocking felt like an overly conspicuous action...

As the door swung wider open, the faint indirect light spilling in from the hallway grew longer across the dark brown wood tiles. Following that light with my gaze, I saw him sitting up against the headboard, looking toward me.

He was wearing only sweatpants, his long legs stretched out, ankles crossed, hands loosely clasped over his thighs. He didn't look like someone who was asleep or about to sleep.

His eyes, fixed on me as if he had been certain I would come, showed no disturbance. His presence felt so expectant that I could only conclude he had been waiting for me, as if my arrival was not my own will but due to some supernatural summons from him.

"......"

"......"

The question of why I was there, the tempting words asking if I wanted to sleep with him — all of it was omitted. Those words felt like accessories that were not even pretty, just cumbersome.

"Can I... sleep here?"

My voice was dry.

As if he had just finished showering, he swept his hair, which now fell smoothly, back, then propped an elbow on a knee he had raised. Still gripping the hair he had just pushed back, he tilted his head slightly askew and looked at me with a somewhat challenging gaze.

"You don't mean that cruelly, as in you only plan to sleep, right?"

In response, meaning no, I took a step into the room.

Strangely, I wasn't afraid of being rejected. It wasn't that I was confident in my own sexual appeal, but perhaps it was because I had slept with him twice before. I could be reasonably sure that he would accept me, or at least wouldn't refuse.

He let go of the hair he had swept back as he watched me approach. The strands floated down slowly, and they were beautiful.

"I'm fine with it..."

"......"

"When I'm with Seo Yeehyeon-ssi, I feel like I can't control myself very well."

To signal that it was fine, I closed the door behind me.

In the darkness, he, sitting facing me, looked, strangely enough, as if he were afraid of me, of my approach. But that couldn't be right.

As I walked to the edge of the bed, the familiar scent wafted up. This was it. I had tracked down this room, driven by the desire to be enveloped in this scent and entangled with him. Thinking of myself — crawling up to the second floor in the dark, fumbling around because I wanted sex — a self-deprecating laugh escaped me.

Even though I knew that sex with someone you like could still be hurtful, right now I was desperate just to have sex with that very person I liked.

I was telling myself I needed to extinguish my desire for him, yet here I was, crawling into his bedroom because I couldn't even bear to sleep under the same roof for a single night.

Who on earth was this? It was me, but terrifyingly unfamiliar.

It was moving through my body, yet it felt so alien, as if someone else had moved inside me. Still, it was clearly me, just displaying an unfamiliar side.

I bent over, bringing my face close to his bare shoulder. Because I liked him, it was only natural that I would like his scent too.

The scent was the very first thing that made me recognize him as special. It was the characteristic that clearly distinguished him from everyone else, the first thing that came to mind when Morae nuna asked about him.

He reached up to my face as I kept my head lowered, touching my cheek, and asked.

"Aren't you uncomfortable with having sex with an Alpha?"

"......"

Startled by the unexpected question, I turned my head to face him. I slowly shook my head no. His hand, which had been stroking my cheek, moved deeper and traced my earlobe.

"That you might change because of it."

If that were the case, he had no reason to hesitate. I placed my hand over his large hand, which encompassed my ear and cheek, and shook my head several times.

"I want to change. I want to be changed."

After my murmur, which sounded like a confession or perhaps a self-reproach, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my body onto the bed.

The next moment, I was lying between his legs. With me on his stomach, he held my waist and pulled the back of my head, kissing my lips first. The kiss was sweet and desperate, like a reunion after years, even though I had slept with him less than a week ago.

As his kiss began — alternately sucking hard on my lower and upper lips, then biting until it hurt before pulling away sharply as if flicking me — I immediately realized how often I had thought about this kiss, even while busy dealing with gallery work cleanup, and how desperately I had wished to experience it again.

This time was different from the last, when I had closed my eyes in dizziness on the party terrace, unsure what to do. I could now clearly sense the rising pleasure from his strong suction and greedy lunges, and the excitement of knowing that the person I desired was becoming aroused through my body — and I was quickly responding to it.

Matching my breath to the rise and fall of his broad, thick chest beneath mine, I waited and hoped that the overlapping scents surrounding and consuming me would hurry up and swallow me whole.

Leaning half-slanted against the large pillow propped up against the headboard, he pressed his forehead against mine and gazed into my eyes from a distance where only the surfaces of our lips barely brushed. It was a distance so close that it was hard to see clearly.

"Me too," he said.

His breath was mixed with the sharp aftertaste of whiskey.

"I want to change too," he whispered. "To become a completely different being."

It seemed almost unbelievable that someone like him, whom everyone envied, could be gripped by such a defeated mindset, but then again, I was still young.

Just because someone appears perfect and affluent in the eyes of others doesn't mean they lack internal struggles. Still, looking at him, I knew I was clearly just a child because I felt like he could steer everything, even a person's heart, toward whatever direction he desired.

Even with just that small amount of contact — his hand slipping beneath my t-shirt to caress my bare waist — I let out a moan and uselessly clawed at his bare chest, where there was nothing to grip. The moment he let go of the lip he'd been biting down on, his tongue probed the inside of my mouth, trailing along the back of my lip, sending a ticklish sensation that made my shoulders shake.

"Seo Yeehyeon-ssi, will you change me?"

His hands, which had been tracing my waist, slipped beneath the waistband of my loungewear, softly gripping and kneading the flesh of my buttocks through the thin fabric of the new underwear he himself had provided.

On top of his stomach, on top of his chest, between his legs, and in his scent. I was already changing.

"How could I..."

The arms encircling my waist tightened their grip, and a hot tongue abruptly thrust into my mouth, cutting off my words. Ugh, mm, uh-huh.... Like someone being held from behind with their mouth covered, I groaned deep in my throat.

He slid his middle finger between my cheeks and vigorously rubbed against my hole. Just as quickly as the wet flesh that had filled my mouth invaded, it suddenly retreated, and he applied a more subtle pressure with his fingertips rubbing against my hole, whispering in an excited voice.

"Right here. It drives me crazy."

Thrusting me up with the strength in his waist while I was prone on his chest, he continued to rub against my hole. The sensation of his long, straight fingers sliding between my cheeks was already suggestive of sex. He was the one driving me crazy. If I wasn't the one who was insane for crawling into his bedroom on my own to do this with someone I wasn't even dating, then what was I?

I wrapped my arms around his neck with the same hands that had been clawing at his chest. It might have been an unconscious response to his demand that I drive him crazy using my backside.

He tilted his head deeper and kissed me. When I parted my lips, a piece of flesh, thoroughly saturated with his scent, pushed deep inside. It felt like an insertion made by a tongue.

I liked his careless kissing. If he had kissed me cautiously, as if handling glass, I might have died of impatience. I liked the way he filled my mouth with his tongue, as if forcing himself upon me, as if choking my throat, making my eyes sting with wetness.

His flexible, wet flesh, thrashing wildly inside me, sweeping, poking, and rubbing against my palate, the roof of my mouth, and the inside of my teeth, seemed like an indicator of how much he wanted me, at least in this moment, showing the depth of his craving.

His long legs became entangled with mine, rubbing against my calves, and he tightened his thighs together, squeezing me. He was unreserved about creating explicit friction by rubbing his erection against mine.

My waist twisted on top of his body from the touch gripping and shaking the flesh of his fullest part. This was different from the first or second time, when I needed more time to be honest about my desire. I, too, wanted him quickly, and deeper, already.

As I followed his tongue, which filled my mouth and then retreated, licking his lips, he bit down lightly with the tip of his tongue. There was intensity in his eyes as he looked down at me. The hand gripping my hips also exerted a strong force, pulling the flesh upward as if tearing at it. Next, he took both my upper and lower lips into his mouth at once, pushing deeply until my head tilted back, tightening and sucking. It felt numb and dizzying, as if I might be swallowed whole.

I wanted this sharp pain. Perhaps since the moment last Sunday when he had last pulled away from my lips.

He released my lips, and with a wet, lewd sound — smack, smack — created by the suction pulling at our saliva-slicked skin, he gently rubbed the surfaces of our lips together and spoke.

"Your lips were quite swollen last time."

"I'm fine."

Unable to meet his gaze, I fiddled with his neck as I answered. He let out a low laugh.

"If anyone saw, they'd know exactly what Seo Yeehyeon-ssi did all night. Don't you care?"

"..."

While his lips softly met and parted above, whispering in a low, sweet voice, his hands below — behind me — were circling and rubbing around my hole, sometimes gripping my hips tightly as if he couldn't bear it, explicitly signaling his desire. Because of his actions, I had absolutely no room to think of a witty or suitably sexy response for the situation.

"Tell me. What should I do to your lips? What do you like?"

He moved his hips in circles as if tracing a pattern, stimulating my core with the bulky presence of his erection as he asked, but my body, which had been frozen cold, had completely melted, and all I could do was gasp for breath, acutely aware of the heat rising from below. I couldn't think of anything else.

"Just... whatever you were doing, Director...."

"..."

For a moment, he frowned and his eyes flashed from between his narrowed eyelids.

"Say that again. Who was doing what?"

"...You were, Director."

He firmly gripped both my buttocks, pressing down so our erections were fully flush, and bit my ear. He thrust his hips upward repeatedly, as if he were about to flip me over and drive himself into me right then and there in this very position. My breath hitched with every thrust of his hips. I couldn't fathom the reason for his sudden surge of excitement.

"This is the first time you've called me that while we were in bed... The first time, and the last time too; you omitted any form of address before."

Had I done that?

It seemed I had. Addressing him by any title felt awkward in this situation.

"Anyway, you get me hard over the strangest things."

Muttering to himself, his fingers leisurely pushed my underwear and pants down.

"What exactly do you mean by 'whatever you were doing'? Tell me, Seo Yeehyeon-ssi."

Hearing his voice deliberately call my name, laced with a playful desire for something risqué, I began to understand his arousal from the act of calling itself. My senses sharpened further as I was made to recognize, even more distinctly, exactly whom I was tangled up with.

The lower garments that had been pulled down to just below my hips, he now skillfully dragged down the rest of the way using his legs and feet. As the area below me grew bare, my desire only burned hotter. It wasn't the first time I had finally given in and whispered obscenities in his ear.

I closed my eyes at the scent emanating from his lips as he breathed hot, damp breaths close to my ear.

"...A kiss."

"What kind?"

He pulled my lower garments down to my ankles in an instant, gripped the underside of my buttock, and shook it as if teasing the flesh, as he asked.

"Hnngh."

The hand that had been shaking my hips moved between my legs, and at the sensation of his entire palm rubbing against my core, I flinched, scrambling upward to cling tighter to his neck. Our cheeks touched, and his ear was right next to my lips. His own lips pressed close to my ear, and a sharp tongue dug into my ear, separating me from all the sounds of the world.

"Biting, sucking... squeezing until it hurts...."

"You like that kind of kiss?"

He pressed his lips to my cheek and asked, sounding slightly teasing.

Every time, I would open my mouth as if reluctantly yielding to his persistent demands... but I had never once told a lie. What he drew out of me was simply honesty. Each time I was honest, the sense of liberation from societal etiquette and rules only fueled my desire hotter. I couldn't deny it.

Overwhelmed by an excitement like a pillar of fire surging thickly that I couldn't suppress any longer, I arched my lower back. Each time, my cock pressed against his bulging erection, and his balls swung loosely back and forth.

"Anyone would look at you and think you've been kissing all night. You plan to walk around looking like that?"

"......"

"Why are you so lewd, Seo Yeehyeon-ssi?"

I shook my head at his mischievousness as he deliberately drew out each syllable while pronouncing my name.

I don't necessarily think being lewd or sexually forward is a bad thing... but perhaps the part of me that is more accustomed to my past self — a self still rather indifferent to sex — wants to deny this current version of myself that craves being kissed hard, my lips and tongue thoroughly ravaged.

However, every action taking place was something I wanted. Whenever I felt my lips, swollen slightly more than usual until the puffiness completely subsided, I was reminded of our encounters, sending a tingling sensation through my body. I wished my lips would always be swollen from kissing him.

I don't know if I'm lewd or sexy... but wishing my lips would always be swollen from kissing him — I suppose that's what being promiscuous is.

He whispered soothingly, pressing his lips against my forehead and eyelids as I lowered my head.

"Look at me. I have to see you for me to kiss you."

While still shaking my hips below.

Even though I had asked for this myself, facing him was still difficult. As I raised my head, feeling almost ashamed, he lunged at my lower lip. The suction that pulled in from the center of my lips quickly blew away any shame or self-loathing I felt for being so forward.

Every time our lips and inner walls rubbed together and saliva mingled, the scent grew stronger, accumulating inside me. The pressure he repeatedly applied to my lips, as if squeezing out unknown fluids from the inside, was accompanied by a sharp sting and a throbbing excitement.

Releasing the arm around his neck, I stroked his bare upper body, slowly twisting against his waist, hips, and legs. My pants and underwear, which had been around my ankles, were completely pulled off, leaving me ridiculously half-naked as I rubbed against the beautiful contours of his body.

"Now, where should I kiss next?"

He cupped my hips with both hands, rubbing them in a circular motion from the outside in, gathering the flesh toward the center... as he gazed at me with eyes that seemed to boil.

"......"

Meeting his gaze, I slowly began to crawl upward. Sensing what I wanted, he smiled slyly and, in the opposite direction from me, slid his body, which had been half-reclining against the pillow, downward.

As our bodies crossed over each other, he pushed his head inside my t-shirt.

"Ugh... ugh."

I bit my lip at the movement of his tongue pushing the gathered tip upward. Until now, I hadn't given my nipples much thought, but the moment he first touched them with his mouth on this bed, they became a part of my body as sexually charged as my cock or lips.

When the nipple he had been twisting around with the tip of his tongue was swallowed into his mouth and compressed until it shriveled inside the warmth of his mouth, I couldn't stop myself from biting my lip and let out a moan that sounded like a sob.

The tingling sensation rising from deep within my body became unbearable. I rocked my hips from side to side, grinding my cock against the defined contours of his abs.

"Hhh, hah."

I writhed as he rapidly flicked his tongue around my nipple held in his mouth, lifting my hips. His two hands wrapped widely around my exposed buttocks, then slid under my t-shirt to stroke my waist and sides.

Though I managed to support my upper body with my elbows braced on his shoulders, I was steadily losing strength as his caresses intensified.

"Ah!"

The moment he bit down on the base of my nipple with his teeth, my chest collapsed onto his face beneath the t-shirt. I tried to sit up from the position where I was tightly embracing him, but he held my waist and wouldn't let go.

He ruthlessly rubbed his lips and cheeks against my flat chest, darting his tongue out to trace lines deeply across my skin, his breath rough with excitement.

I couldn't fathom what about my chest — which was merely slender aside from the thin muscle gained from military service and working at a moving company — was stimulating him, but the lips and tongue alternating between my left and right sides, scraping, licking, and sucking without preference, were openly revealing a fiery lust amidst his uncontrolled, hot breaths.

"Ngh, hah... hhh."

When he sucked my small nipple in just with the pressure of his lips, my shoulders twitched as I pictured the volume of my chest jutting forward, even though I couldn't see it.

A body that had shed its usual form and adopted a different shape and purpose.

If I couldn't break free from the restraints — the rules and customs of dressing, having proper conversations, and being unconsciously self-limiting under the gaze of others and society — the act of sex felt meaningless.

Kissing with lips meant only for eating and speaking, bringing out and erecting the cock shrunken away inside the underwear, sucking the hole — something we never even mentioned as if it didn't exist — being sucked by a mouth and used to arouse the cock; nipples, which are nothing, being sucked and licked to become aroused...

In all his actions that transformed and inverted the original me, I felt a sense of liberation.

As I groaned, holding his head as he repeatedly pulled and released my nipples into points, he licked my already sensitive, swollen nipples deeply before sliding further down.

"Ah, ah..."

I lowered my head and looked down at him with anxious eyes. Peeking through the neckline of the t-shirt hanging low, he was moving past my lower abdomen toward my cock.

He cupped my buttocks with both hands, turning my body back into place as I instinctively tried to pull away, and then he immediately took my tip into his mouth.

"Haaah, hhh... gulp."

With my body face down on the pillow and his face between my legs, I couldn't lift myself up. He met the weight of my body pressing down and exerted pressure on the head of me. The strong suction, as if he were eating an ice cream bar, twisting and sucking until my head was bent back, forced me to pound the pillow beneath me.

His style, which felt like he was devouring me even during a kiss, was the same with oral sex.

After holding and swirling it as if melting it slowly, the sudden pressure — sucking me in as if to swallow me past his throat — made my eyes fly open and my mouth fall agape. Just a few sucks applied to my sensitive cock, which had no tolerance for stimulation, sent the feeling of climax surging up. Each time, he skillfully released the suction and eased the pressure at just the right moment.

Each time I struggled and reacted, his breath against the base of my erection grew hotter, and I buried my face in the pillow, moaning almost to the point of sobbing.

The sensation of the wet, slick inner walls pressing in tightly, then relaxing and pulling away, completely scrambled my thoughts. The scent flooded my breath, and I choked.

"Lift your hips up," he said.

He pushed up against my chest as he spoke.

I cautiously raised my upper body, glancing around nervously. To steady myself, I grabbed the headboard, which was made slightly higher than a typical bed. It was covered in black leather upholstery with cushioning.

I realized I must have been crying without knowing it because my eyes and the skin around them were damp. They weren't emotional tears brought on by sadness or pain, but physiological secretion, and I didn't want him to find out the foolish truth that I was crying because of the stimulation.

Wiping the moisture away haphazardly with my palm and straightening my torso, I found myself sitting directly on his chest. More specifically, my groin was right beneath his jaw. It was not exactly a comfortable position for looking down at him.

As he looked up at me, stroking my hip, his features were so clearly defined even in the darkness that they seemed sharp. Because he was lying on his back, his hair was swept back, fully exposing his face, which was so unnaturally handsome it looked unreal. Against that face, thrusting my erect cock forward felt comparatively vulgar and base.

Yet, my own length, glistening and wet with saliva, was what he had been stimulating with his mouth just moments before.

"Sit on my face," he requested.

I needed a moment to process exactly what he was asking.

"That's..."

While keeping his gaze fixed on my face, which was stiffening in embarrassment, he slipped his hand in from behind, between my buttocks. Then, with his fingertips, he pressed hard and kneaded the soft, tender skin between my hole and balls, circling it. It felt as if he were about to carve out another new opening there and plunge right in.

"Sit, and grind against it, hard. Okay?"

"Hhh, nng... B-but still...."

"I want it. Then it's fine, isn't it?"

I didn't know how to accept his demand to be humiliated by having my groin pressed against his face. He looked up at me with pleading eyes, rubbing his cheek and the bridge of his nose against my shaft. His tongue, extended long from between his lips, licked up the hot skin.

"I want to smell it, wet it... and be buried deep in it."

How could he make a voice so desperate?

Pretending to be weak, pretending to be impatient and restless, like a sweet, gentle, and lovely being. Just hearing his voice — whispering in a small voice as if begging for the thing he wanted most in the world — honestly made me feel like I was melting down below.

His eyes, drunk with lust, were still fixed on me, and the stimulation from his fingertips circling my perineum continued. My hips jumped at the caress as he stroked me with his whole palm, as if wiping me clean.

"Until I can't breathe... crush me here. Hurry."

I hesitated several times while looking down at his tempting lips urging me on, then gripped the headboard and slowly lowered my hips into an awkward, leaning-back position.

To be honest, the moment I heard his proposal, I too felt a wicked curiosity, and the thrill of just imagining it had already sent me ahead. It wasn't a matter of refusal or acceptance; it was only a matter of time.

The tip of his high nose touched my perineum first. A tremor more thrilling than I had imagined sent shivers through my whole body. And yet, it was just a spot, nothing like my cock.

"...Ugh, hngh!"

As his nose was crushed and somewhat buried in my soft flesh, he grabbed my waist and pulled me forcefully down.

In a position where I was completely seated upon his face, I had to squeeze the headboard and bite my own arm. He opened his nose and mouth, greedily inhaling deeply between my legs. Shame and excitement raged inside me simultaneously.

Looking down while biting my arm, I could see his eyes emerging from between my legs, gazing up at me with my erect cock between us. I couldn't tear my gaze away from those bluish eyes that transmitted raw desire.

Even the hem of the t-shirt draped over my erection emphasized the obscenity of the moment. My throbbing cock bobbed with the slightest movement, brushing against his forehead. Everything that met my eyes became a caress, a prelude.

The visual stimulation alone was already at its limit. As I bit down harder on my arm, I exhaled sharply through my nose.

His hands, which had been gripping my waist, moved from the outside to wrap around my thighs and pull inward. His fingertips rubbed against my pubic hair and poked at my balls, making my cock vibrate. My whole body trembled violently, forcing me to bite my arm even harder.

During this time, his broad tongue stroked my perineum, and the slightly round flesh between my balls and hole became damp with his saliva. Every time the firm tip of his tongue pressed deeply into one spot, a heavy sensation, almost like the need to urinate, stimulated my lower abdomen.

The world of pleasure he showed me was endless. He knew my body better than I did. I felt like I was going insane.

"Stop... stop..."

Even as I mumbled that, I found myself, contrary to my words, clutching the hem of my t-shirt to get a better view of his face beneath my erect cock.

He was no longer pulling me down with his arms, and I began rocking my hips on my own, grinding the space between my legs over his face — so that his lips and tongue could reach the spot I desired, so his nose could press against the area I wanted, so he could be ground against where I wished. Pleasure spread from the skin touching him, as if heat rash were blooming all over my body.

I was terrified that I would start bucking wildly on his face. Even though what we were doing was already shocking enough, I could still barely, barely hold myself back from going all the way.

I let go of the arm I had been biting down on and collapsed my upper body, bowing my head closer to his face.

I wasn't sure if I had said I could control myself, but perhaps my muscles had given way along with my loosening mind, because saliva I couldn't quite catch pooled from the lips that had been biting my arm. Without the presence of mind to wipe it away with my hand, I just turned my head and rubbed my mouth against my arm, on the cotton of my t-shirt.

With slack muscles and unfocused eyes, I panted while looking down at him.

"Stop... Please stop this... Hhng, Ngh!"

In response to the plea to stop, he instead targeted the area behind my balls. Following the movement of his jaw, which was biting and chewing with his mouth, my cock bobbed up and down.

My erect cock pressed against his perfectly beautiful, flawless face seemed to be destroying the highest value with the basest desire, making me entertain the grand delusion that I was rebelling against social norms through this act.

I had no idea what nonsense I was spouting while sitting on someone's face and getting an erection... but... perhaps it was because my mind was thrown off track by the intense stimulation of having my balls sucked — all while my lower body was thoroughly soaked.

Clear fluid streamed down from the tip of my cock due to the skillful caress that sucked on my balls with enough force to make my lower abdomen feel satisfyingly full. It was the largest amount of pre-come yet, almost making me think I had finished.

The sensation pulling sharply in my lower abdomen reached a point I could no longer endure. I pulled his hands away from my thighs, and my hips slammed back down once more.

"Stop... I think I'm going to... come!"

As soon as I released his hands, I lost my balance and tumbled sideways onto the mattress.

While I lay curled onto my side, trembling and panting, he sat up, pulled my shoulders, and turned me to lie flat on my back.

Because of the saliva he had smeared haphazardly over my groin, his face looked slick as I looked up at him. After positioning me flat on my back and settling tightly between my legs, he leaned down and wiped his chin with the edge of my t-shirt.

Though his expression was glazed, I could tell by his tightly pressed lips — tighter than usual — and the bulging muscles in his shoulders and chest that he was completely absorbed in this moment, in my body.

After casually wiping away the mess from my lower body, he pressed his torso closer and gave me a deep kiss. It was a kiss that gently swept the inside of my mouth and held my tongue, as if soothing and praising the me who had struggled to hold back moments before.

His right hand dug down between our pressed lower abdomens, probing the thoroughly soaked space between my legs. My core was completely damp, more so than if I had produced that much fluid myself, and I felt unusually sensitive. Every time his fingertips pressed down as if scooping up cream, my muscles twitched and contracted.

After lightly pulling away, his lips hovered just in front of mine. He rubbed his nose and the surface of my lips together a few times, pressed firmly on my perineum with his fingertips, and then spoke.

"You don't know what kind of smell is coming from Seo Yeehyeon-ssi's lips, and from here, do you?"

Gently nibbling my upper lip, he enveloped my perineum with his entire palm.

"Hh-ah, h-hah..."

I had showered with cleanser after getting out of the tub, so it was probably that scent. It was definitely a better scent than usual. However, his tone, the sound of his voice asking the question, and the way he looked down at me from up close carried a strange nuance, as if he were talking about something like the secretions I had released due to sexual arousal, rather than any artificial, external fragrance.

This was even more true because every time he rubbed, I could feel the slickness of saliva between his palm and my groin.

"It's the kind of smell I want to bury my face in all day."

"Hh... hhhh."

He didn't just rub; he began to mimic the rhythm of penetration, thrusting upward from below. When he added pressure, as if trying to perfectly fit something between my softened thighs, my core throbbed again.

I sighed, realizing that I craved the insertion of his cock — which I'd only felt once — along with the violent pounding of his hips and the uncontrolled, frantic pace that made me lose all reason. It was driving me mad.

This wasn't what I meant when I confessed I wanted to change; yet, I was adapting shockingly fast in this regard. To think I had such a knack for this — should I be happy about discovering this unknown talent?

"Ugh... uh..."

As I flinched away, following the movement of his arm as he traced around my entrance with his fingertips, sliding slowly down to the very top of my hole, he used the arm he had braced beside my shoulder to turn my head back toward him, forcing me to meet his gaze. His eyes were sharp enough to pierce, yet full of lust.

"Is my smell like that too?"

"......"

I felt as if he had seen right through me. It wasn't a profound statement, but for a moment, I couldn't breathe. It felt like he had discovered every dirty thought I had about his scent.

"When I smell it, my cock twitches, and right here..."

"Hngh. Hhng."

His finger plunged a full knuckle-length inside my hole. Since the foreplay had been long, there was almost no resistance to the penetration. When the sensation I had been waiting for arrived, I tensed my entire body and gripped his shoulders tightly.

He slid his fingers deep inside, then curled the tips to gently brush against the walls as he continued speaking.

"Does it feel itchy in here? Right here inside? Huh? Does it?"

Gasping for breath like a hungry beast before its prey, I nodded my head frantically.

Looking down at me with eyes equally starved, he pulled down the waistband of his training pants and freed his erection from within. Perhaps because it was an area of strong body odor, the scent that had been layering itself around him seemed to intensify.

As it had been from the beginning, it wasn't the kind of smell that most people generally recognize as a "fragrance," like something fragrant or sweet.

Rather, it was a scent that blurred and clouded the mind, grating on the nerves. It wasn't unpleasant or foul-smelling. It didn't scratch the nerves in that way; instead, it constantly prodded and stimulated, making it impossible to ignore.

It was hazy, as if floating, yet languid, as if weighed down and sinking. It paralyzed reason while sharply awakening the senses. A tension lingered in the scent, as if something was about to snatch the nape of my neck at any moment after rendering me defenseless. I knew it was contradictory and abstract, but I couldn't describe it any other way... it was a heavy, aggressive, and dominating scent.

Even in the dim light, I could clearly make out his cock, fully erect and thick. I swallowed dryly, looking down at the glistening tip slick with transparent pre-come — a look so shameless that I couldn't deny it even if I were teased for being lewd.

I didn't realize I was doing it, but perhaps he noticed, because he wrapped an arm around the back of my neck, pulled me close, and laughed softly with his cheek pressed against mine. It was a sweet sound that felt like it was melting my hearing. That chuckle, which seemed to find my youthful sexual curiosity endearing, soon turned into excited, panting breaths, followed by an invitation I knew I couldn't refuse.

"Want to smell my scent, too?"

As if he already knew I wouldn't refuse, he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me up before I could answer. Then, he leaned back against a large pillow, sitting me on top of his stomach. I placed my hands on his chest and hesitated for a moment, about to move down, but he pulled me back, gripping my waist.

"No, put your hips over here."

"......"

Though I hesitated, it was only for a moment. Dazed by the vibrating scent, I swayed as if I had lost my sense of direction and shifted my position on his stomach, just as he told me to.

Right before my eyes was his cock, still half-covered by his sweatpants, yet impossibly long and thick even in that state, bobbing slightly. The hardness of his length was as remarkable as its size. It stood at a dizzying angle even when erect, so rigid that it seemed impossible for it to be mere physical expansion. It felt solid enough to support me without budging even if I were to sit fully on top of it.

Because of that hardness, the very firm shaft rose up, nearly pushing the band of his pants aside. I bent over and pushed the soft-textured fabric down toward his knees. As the thick hair became more widely exposed beneath his taut abs, his cock sprang up as if springing forth.

I gently held the base of it with my hand, as if handling a precious treasure. As my hips shifted further back from bending over, his chin pressed into the valley between them.

"Ugh. Hngh."

And in the next moment, our hips were pulled together, and I was seated on his face again. I knew what people called this. The act of burying one's face between the other person's legs and using one's mouth. 69.

"You can't perform a proper blowjob... anyway. I'm satisfied just with you touching me with your tongue and lips."

It seemed like the words "so hurry up" were left unsaid.

His statement that proper oral sex was impossible wasn't a bluff or an exaggeration. I found it hard to believe that something like this had aggressively entered his tightly closed hole, and yet it hadn't torn or ruptured, ending only in a dull, throbbing ache.

Although I managed to swallow down to the tip, that alone filled my mouth, leaving almost no room to move back and forth, in and out. At best, I could just sweep my tongue across the groove of the head and then slip it into my mouth, enveloping it as if with the inner walls inside my lips.

Yet, even with that clumsy fondling, he released pre-come. For an Alpha, especially a Golden Alpha, the volume of pre-come was immense, not just semen. Rumors circulated online that a high-ranking Golden Alpha could even cause pregnancy with just his pre-come.

I didn't know about other Golden Alphas, but the sheer volume of pre-come he produced during intercourse easily surpassed the semen of average men, making even the baseless rumors online seem strangely persuasive.

As I repeatedly swallowed and pushed out his tip, I had to let the copious amount of pre-come — which poured out into my mouth like a rising sob — flow down his shaft.

It wasn't just that my mouth wasn't very large, but the fact that an adult man's cock was too big to swallow past the head... My lower jaw was already aching before we could even properly start anything.

The intense desire that had been piqued by having his length right in front of me failed to gain traction against the real, physical barriers.

"There's no need to push yourself. Just licking it with your tongue is good enough."

I turned back to him as he stroked my buttocks broadly with his wide-open palm, soothing me like that. His face was mostly hidden by my body.

"Mmm. Haa...."

Instead, his excited breath, drawn in and let out deeply as if savoring it, clung hotly to my perineum and hole, which were damp with saliva. My hole twitched involuntarily, and I could easily picture the contraction that must be spread nakedly before his eyes. I wanted to hide it out of embarrassment, yet I also wanted to expose it wider out of excitement.

"Hh. Haaah...."

The next stimulation followed immediately, without any need to deliberate which impulse to follow. When I was with him in bed, I didn't have to think about anything. I wasn't even given the chance to think.

He bent his suspended cock downward and swallowed the head.

I collapsed forward as if begging, burying my nose at the base of his length. Flailing my hands, unsure what to do with them, I ended up scratching his firm thighs. An unbearable urge to climax rushed urgently toward the tip of my cock.

He skillfully maneuvered his long legs until he was completely naked below the waist right before my eyes. Then, as if demanding to be licked, he widened his stance at the knees, thrust his pelvis upward, and rubbed his cock against my face.

His heavily erect length brushed against my cheek, grazed my lips, and struck my nose bridge. The waves created by his throbbing cock right in front of me were powerful. Desire was stoked, my lips parted, and my breath grew short... Like someone trying to snatch a treat dangling upside down on a string without using their hands, I stuck out my tongue and chased after him.

It was an embarrassing sight, to say the least, but it was also a sight that even he, who was currently burying his face near my lower body, could not witness.

His hip thrusts, reminiscent of intercourse, were a purely sexual message. Lying on my stomach, looking up at his explicit thrusting — clearly indicating what he wanted — made the act feel even more extraordinary, intensifying the thrill.

With every upward thrust of his hips, I wrapped my hand around his cock — which was bobbing at an increasingly wider angle — and licked upward from the base. Its throbbing veins made it look like a hazardous object on the verge of bursting.

Its thickness, length, color, and smell. No matter how I looked at it, it never appeared safe.

But I hadn't come to this room to protect myself anyway. Just before climbing onto the bed, hadn't I told him I wanted to "change"?

I immersed myself in savoring every part of his shaft with a devotion beyond what I had felt for sweet ice cream in childhood. Just as when I kissed him and swallowed his saliva, I felt that his pre-come, which lubricated and dripped from his cock, was mixed with an essence that condensed his very scent. It didn't matter if it was just a feeling. This sensation alone, like swallowing the pure extract of his fragrance, was enough.

When I licked his cock all the way up and rubbed my tongue widely over the exposed head... my head went dizzy, as if I had chugged an icy cold drink all at once. When I breathed, it felt like his scent, not oxygen, was filling my lungs.

"Hah, hhh... haah... haa...."

My breathing had completely lost its steady rhythm and become ragged. Clinging to his cock, exhaling gasps that resembled sobs, I felt like an addict drawing breath.

Unlike me, who could barely swallow his tip, he repeatedly lifted and tilted his head, his suction tightening around my cock. Before I knew it, I too was lifting my hips. It no longer felt like a shameful act, but rather a natural flow.

I wrapped my arms around his raised thighs, tracing the outline of his hard muscle, while with my other hand, I repeatedly pushed his cock upward from below, enveloping the thick head with my lips. I tilted my head as if giving him a passionate kiss, brushing the inner walls on the back of my lips across the head.

Like a bird that buries its head in the bushes, convinced it is perfectly hidden, I became bold because he couldn't see my face, even though my cock and hole were completely exposed right in front of his nose.

In the dim light filtering through the sheer curtain covering the window — intended only to soften the intensity of the light — we indulged in each other in the most primal positions.

The rhythm of his thrusting hips and the rhythm of my hips bucking against him meshed like a seesaw, and the bedroom grew thick with the sound of wet skin slapping against the mattress as it sprang up.

I didn't even have time to push him away, crying out that I was close. The tightening that pulled him deep into my throat, to the back of my throat, turned my vision white, and with a choked sound that couldn't quite become a scream, I came.

It was a different feeling from the last time, when I had felt pleasure in my hole.

The pleasure of climaxing while enveloped by the warm, wet pressure against my cock made my knees weak, even while sitting. No matter how much I tried to shake him off by wriggling my hips and arching my back, he held my lower back fast, his arms wrapped around my thighs, refusing to budge while maintaining the sucking pressure of his mouth.

"Haa, hah, ahh, hah... Ha-ah!"

Shaking my head and arching my upper body on top of him, I spilled my load wildly, drawn in by the force of his sucking. It felt like my cock was about to be pulled right down his throat.

Each time I came, he skillfully regulated the pressure on the head of me while swallowing everything. Unlike me, who couldn't swallow all of his pre-come, even though there was a difference in volume, he swallowed everything.

I struggled like someone trying everything to free one foot stuck in quicksand, and only after I had nothing left to squeeze from the tip of my cock was I finally released from him.

I crawled forward instinctively, nearly trembling. I was like a beast escaping the sharp fangs of a natural predator just before its life was extinguished. I couldn't even tell if what was dripping from my mouth was saliva or the pre-come I had held in my mouth while sucking him.

However, before I could even crawl down to his ankles, he had already sat up and swiftly flipped my body over.

"Where are you going?"

His eyes, when we finally met face-to-face after a while, were half-lidded. Gripping my waist, he pulled me sharply down, pressing my perineum flush against his groin, then inserted his hand between my legs, rotating his fingers inside as if checking the condition of my hole, tracing the walls.

"Ahhh... Hah...."

I flinched and twisted the sheets gripped in my hands at the sudden intrusion, but he paid no mind, pulling his fingers out and sucking them clean, as if he'd dipped the tips in honey.

"It'll be much more comfortable than last time. It's perfectly melted away now."

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and temples with his right arm, then lifted my left leg over his right shoulder. His crimson tongue, licking intensely from the inside of my calf up to my ankle, shone slickly in the darkness.

"Your legs are beautiful."

He turned his hips, grinding suggestively against what was pressed tight against my groin, and spoke in a low, tight voice. His breath was ragged, but his tone lacked any pretense of trying to create sexual tension; it was even calm.

The fact that he spoke in such an everyday tone in this situation paradoxically showed that he was currently riding an irrational trajectory.

His large hand, which had been tracing lightly down from my ankle draped over his shoulder to my thigh, now caressed my cock, which was sensitively swollen immediately after coming. He paused the kisses raining down on my calf, shifting only his gaze to look down at the sex in his hand.

"Right. Everything about you is beautiful."

He stacked my right leg alongside my left, draping both over his shoulder, and mumbled as he rubbed the head of him against the cleft of my gathered buttocks.

He looked down at me with eyes that had lost their blue tint, looking somewhat drunk. I, too, gazed up at him with a hazy, scattered gaze, and suddenly thought of Shushu in my muddled mind.

Even if the word "beautiful" expanded its scope to encompass everything, there was no way I could look beautiful to him, especially with someone like Shushu kept close by.

"Why? Do you think I'm lying?"

He bit down on my right ankle, circled the head of him around the entrance to my hole, further clouding my already disrupted mind, and then smirked, pulling up one corner of his mouth. It felt like a question that saw right through my thoughts.

"Ah... uh, ugh..."

The head, which had only been pressing and circling around the entrance, suddenly pushed down, exerting force as if to open the hole. Because my legs were pressed together and lifted in the air, it was impossible to resist or push back.

"Believe me. If you weren't beautiful..."

He looked down at me, squinting his eyes as if trying to focus on something far away.

"I never asked you to sit on me like this."

As he leaned his upper body back fluidly, his lower body pressed in even tighter in response. With a slow, unmistakable thrust as the head pushed deeper, my back arched.

Just as he said, the feeling of penetration was much smoother than last time. I could barely feel any resistance, just a slight push now and then. Perhaps it was because I, too, was not in my right mind.

As penetration began, my body was still thrumming with the lingering, faint excitement from having come inside his mouth earlier, and this time I focused intently on his every movement, fueled by tension and anticipation.

Knees spread and sitting with his heels up, he chewed on my calf while already beginning to thrust his hips with only the head inserted. His gaze, clouded with a frown as if judging something, swept over my reclining upper body.

"You have long, slender legs... I bet lingerie would look good on you."

Because of his expressionless face, calm tone, and glazed-over eyes, it sounded like the nonsensical rambling of someone high on anesthetic.

Confirming with his probing hand that the head was fully swallowed, he pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around my thighs in front of his chest, and smiled faintly.

"When you're ready, will you try wearing some?"

Following the movement of his hips turning as if performing a suggestive dance, what had been pushed back — his erection — repeatedly curved back toward me, and each time the head burrowed deeper inside. As I gasped at the feeling of his forearm pushing into my abdomen, forcing me to stretch beyond my limit, the speed of his hip rotation began to quicken.

The sensation of thick, hard heat expanding my inner walls was undeniable, yet the pain was strangely dull, as if an anesthetic ointment had been applied inside. Considering the overwhelming size of his cock, the situation made no sense.

It must have been because of his thorough foreplay, which turned my whole body into a melting puddle before penetration even began. Or perhaps it was due to the excessive adrenaline from intense arousal. Regardless, the lack of pain was not the issue; the quick reversal of pain into pleasure was not a major concern. Though it was strange, even that soon disappeared entirely from my consciousness.

"Ugh, yes, ugh...."

I felt him enter me, letting out a moan that sounded as if it were dragging along the floor. The pre-come flowing out ceaselessly was even more abundant than during our last encounter, and the head of him was paving a path for itself internally without the aid of lubricant.

I could feel a sensation, like something tearing open — thud-thud — as if forcing a massive body into clothes that didn't fit, but that was just the resistance of my inner walls being forcibly parted; it didn't escalate into unbearable agony.

He held me tightly, my legs thrown over his shoulders, binding me in place. As he focused on driving deeper with a thrust of his hips, he scrutinized my expression with eyes that seemed intent on swallowing me whole. Pain and pleasure. He sensed the razor-thin boundary between them through the slightest changes in my face, adjusting his rhythm by pulling back and then driving deeper in response.

As my insides grew tight, my breath became ragged. He released one of the arms holding my thighs and stroked my lower abdomen soothingly. I placed my hand over his. I felt the need to hold onto something.

He guided my hand to my now semi-flaccid cock after a climax and encouraged me to caress it. As our hands joined and I stroked it, my breathing finally settled into a slightly more stable rhythm.

As if to praise me for doing well, he relaxed the tension in his brow, looked down at me, and smiled.

"You're a model student."

"......"

I soon understood the reason for his sudden remark. Before I knew it, the coarse hair of his pubic mound was brushing against the entrance of my hole.

"Hh... Uh, ah."

As if to confirm with his body that I had swallowed him whole, he twisted his hips side to side, ensuring he was fully seated inside. Every time his lower body twisted, the sensation of the hot mass filling my insides pulsed, and I rubbed my head against the pillow, losing my grip on my cock.

As if trying to push all my organs upward, as if trying to block my throat, he readjusted his hold on my thighs and began thrusting in short, sharp movements while still deep inside.

"Hhhnnnggg... Hh... Uuugh, yes."

The vibrations his body created by shaking me were clearly stimulating his cock in return. Feeling the friction, the heat, and the slickness of the pre-come overflowing from the head of him lubricating my walls, he began to move his hips forward and backward this time.

With a dull, throbbing pain, the cock that had withdrawn slid back in, shallowly, in several quick strokes. Each time his hips snapped in short bursts — slap, slap — I felt an odd itch deep inside. My body had opened enough to withstand more violent thrusting.

"Mmm... Ugh, hhh...."

He seemed like someone who could sense the slightest shift in my moans. The instant my groan, which had barely managed to endure the pressure, mixed with a hint of pleasure, he followed it with thrusts of greater intensity than before.

"Ugh-ngh, yes... Hah!"

He pulled back several times boldly before plunging back in, the viscous pre-come he had released lubricating the penetration, and his pace gradually quickened. Squish, squish, the sound of friction crushing against the thick, pooled fluid squelched in our joined area. Whenever his grip loosened as sweat broke out and his arms around my thighs relaxed, he would readjust his hold several times.

I had only been embarrassed by the position where my legs were spread wide, but I hadn't expected to feel such a strange sensation even when my thighs were pressed tightly together, almost touching. Even though his cock was clearly parting my hole, the feeling was that even the gap between my thighs, where no direct friction was occurring, was being pleasured, due to the sensation that his large head might suddenly pop out from between my tightly closed thighs and push against my balls at any moment.

His cock, filling me to the maximum extent as if stretching my inner walls, inevitably pressed against and scraped the sensitive areas deep inside my delicate walls with every thrust, even without any specific intention. Each time, a sharp pull resonated in my lower abdomen, and a feeling of orgasm — distinct from ejaculation — bubbled up inside me like carbonation.

"Ngh!"

Slowly, then very fast, a little faster, shallowly, deeply. After taking his time to probe and forge a path inside me with varying speed and depth, he suddenly shifted his posture, holding my thighs while balancing on his knees. My hips lifted along with him.

As if I weighed nothing, he began to thrust rapidly in that position, stimulating me inside. Thump, thump. His thick, broad head felt as if it were rising all the way to my heart and stabbing my pulse points. My chest pounded, my breath caught, and the feeling of climax intensified.

"Haaah, ha... Hah. Hah..."

My throat ached as if I had been screaming for a long time, even though I was only breathing. My mouth, hanging open and panting, was completely dry.

His brow and the bridge of his nose tightly furrowed, he grabbed his pants lying in the corner of the bed and shoved them into his mouth. Then, like a roaring beast, he gnawed and tore at the fabric while letting out muffled cries from inside his mouth.

It was as if he were unnaturally and forcibly trying to block an encroaching power from beyond a line he had never seen before. He looked like a man trying to lift a car using only the strength of his arms.

Intuitively, I realized he was trying to suppress the knotting. I couldn't understand the intention behind trying to prevent the knotting so desperately.

However, even that bewilderment soon faded hazily out of my awareness. What poured inside me was like having a hose shoved into my gut while someone turned the water on full blast.

"Hah, haah, ah.... Haa...."

I opened my eyes wide and just gasped for breath.

As the convulsions began, he spat out the pants he had been biting, hugged my legs tighter, and started racing toward the peak of climax. I was gripping the sheets, trembling with whimpers from the force of his shaking, and eventually ended up biting my own hand. It felt like being on a violent, dangerous amusement park ride — my body shaken wildly, feeling like it was slamming hard into something. Yet, I wasn't thrown off, nor did my body break. On a ride, impact doesn't turn into an accident.

He placed my legs down, resting them against his left side. As my lower body twisted, I felt the cock inside press even tighter. It was stimulating for both him and me.

He lay down next to me without withdrawing. Lying on his side, he pulled my chest toward him, and I too ended up lying sideways, overlapping him. Releasing the hand I had been biting, he instead let me bite the back of his hand.

"Haa, ugh!"

I tried not to bite, but the stimulation as we changed positions and began rubbing against each other cut off my thoughts, and I clamped down on the neat back of his hand, where bluish veins stood out.

The closeness of our bodies made my senses even sharper. While frantically rubbing his arm, which was wrapped around my chest over my tattered t-shirt, I slightly lowered my hips and rocked my backside to match the rhythm of him thrusting up from below.

His knee dug in between my legs and lifted my thigh. My groin parted, leaving us in a primal position — lying sideways with one leg raised — as he pierced, ground against, and shook me. The force with which he began thrusting quickly, as if determined, relentlessly scraped against my prostate.

"Haa, ugh... ahh... Ngh. Ugh."

It felt like the bubbles that had been boiling inside my core finally burst and overflowed outward.

Having reached orgasm without ejaculating, I gripped the arm that was holding my chest, twisting it as if I were tearing at it, and could only gag with my mouth wide open.

His hand, which he had let me bite, grasped my jaw and turned my head back. Before our lips could even meet, a kiss that plunged his tongue deep inside enveloped me. His cock was still filling me from behind, and even though I hadn't come yet, I had reached some destination. His tongue ruthlessly tore through my quickening pulse and shallow breaths.

His convulsing hips pulled back. As his cock withdrew, dragging his distinctly outlined, sensual head across the inner walls, semen flowed out of my hole like a corked water bottle tipped on its side.

It wasn't just the sensation of him pushing in and filling me... the feeling of the liquid spilling out and draining away felt just as lewd.

Shivering, I instinctively brought both hands between my legs. I plugged the opening with my hands and arched my back. My body, having just experienced ejaculation in the front and an orgasm in the back in quick succession, was so hypersensitive that even the breath on my skin made me moan.

I could feel the thick fluid gushing and sloshing out between my fingers. I had to groan while covering myself, like someone unsure what to do about the sudden urge to urinate.

"Haa, n-no... This... something keeps coming out...."

My vision blurred as I looked back at him, pleading for him to do something about it. It was because of the tears welling up in my eyes.

He pressed his lips firmly against my teary, damp eyes, while placing his hand over mine that was still covering below, rubbing forcefully.

"It's okay, just a moment... I'll put it back in soon."

He pushed my shoulders, making me lie prone, and immediately climbed onto my back. Then he pulled my body up by holding my waist. I ended up kneeling on all fours on the mattress, propped up by my knees and hands.

Bracing one hand beside mine, he covered my back with his chest, and used his other hand to turn my chin so our lips met. I had to give him my tongue and lips while keeping my head turned as far back as if I was trying to look at something foreign stuck to my shoulder.

"Mmm, um... um."

His cock, grinding against my crack, was still hot and hard. I felt him shift his body axis from our four-legged stance and raise one leg into an L-shape.

He used the head of him to trace up his own semen that had flowed out from my hole and dripped down my inner thigh, then pushed the wet head into the opening that was still not completely closed.

I didn't even have the presence of mind to wonder how I was accepting his cock as it thrust in strongly all at once, unlike before.

He slapped his sticky palm against my behind, grabbing and twisting the flesh as if it couldn't bear it any longer. As I groaned with my head bowed while prone like a child being punished, a deep, heavy groan came from behind me.

He laid his chest over my back again.

In this position on all fours, one body fused with the other, we swayed wildly with the thrusting motion, like beasts. It was a position where his strength was transmitted directly, completely, and without waste.

Because of the semen pooled inside, the sound of our joining was especially slick every time he pushed in.

"Hngh, ah... Haah."

My cock, hanging down, pulsed and shook wildly, and I felt like I was going crazy from the shivery sensation of being stimulated both front and back simultaneously. I felt like I would collapse from the force of his thrust the moment I took my hands off the mattress, so I couldn't even reach out to grab him.

I felt like I was riding a bumper car, cornered and continuously attacked. Strong impacts kept coming, shaking me relentlessly without allowing me to try anything else; my whole body was trembling.

He seemed to be no longer holding back anything, rubbing his entire cock against me as he thrust in and out, rocking his hips. His waist moved so fast that, covering my entire back, he looked like a beast sprinting on all fours. I, too, was not much different, pulled along by his sprint as I moaned as if I would cry.

"You wanted this with me... that much? Enough to climb onto the bed first?"

"Ha, ha-ah, ah...."

Feeling his chin press down on my shoulder, I nodded. As he repeatedly thrust inside me by jerking his hips, he slipped one hand beneath my loose t-shirt and squeezed my nipple.

"How could you? How could you do that without thinking... what kind of... thing I am...."

Before he could finish speaking, he pulled his hand away from my nipple, lifted my chin, and turned my face toward him. Our lips met instantly. The force with which he was moving me caused our mouths to keep misaligning and bumping, which only made the kiss — his lips — feel more desperate.

Keeping my loosely lowered eyes fixed on his mouth, I confessed plainly between my trembling breaths.

"I, I wanted to..."

He stared at me with eyes that looked as if they were burning bright red. Whenever a scent wafted from his completely broken, panting breaths, I immediately lunged forward and greedily inhaled it.

"Not just today, all along... it's been like that."

He frowned as if he had heard something terribly repulsive and swallowed my lips. It was a kiss as if he were consuming his prey, caught after a full sprint — literally, as if he meant to chew and swallow the flesh of my mouth.

Although I was feverish on the bed, it wasn't a lie intended to heighten the mood with manufactured passion. Even if he didn't know it, I knew it was a confession of truth, which made my own boldness even more astonishing.

Gradually, sex was becoming my liberation.

Although it was a decadent liberation that amounted only to temporary escape rather than fundamental freedom, it was clear that while my bare skin was pressed against his, I could forget everything and focus solely on my own senses, allowing myself to be honest.

For years, I hadn't experienced a sensation that struck and resonated with my existence so vividly. I had felt as if acknowledging any feeling would only lead to my own injury.

Yet, contact with him held a vividness that allowed me to face, touch, and sense myself as a living being. Even if I had to endure the bitter taste of self-reproach after it was all over, at least this was irresistibly attractive to someone like me because it was an act that harmed or endangered no one else.

I only had to bear the bitterness and the vacant sense of loss that followed the act.

"If you want something, just say it. Just tell me you want me, and I'll give it to you anytime..."

He pulled his lips away from where he had been biting them, then nudged his nose against my ear, whispering words that could not have been more fragrant yet simultaneously more cruel.

This act wasn't about possessing him, nor could repeating it any number of times achieve any real meaning. Even knowing that... if I could just possess his body, even for a moment, I would probably keep doing this.

I wanted to ask if he meant it. If he would do this for me anytime, anywhere, just like now, whenever I wanted.

My thighs, stretched taut, trembled, but I gripped the sheets, determined not to let go of him thrusting inside me.

"Hngh, uhh... gasp...."

His gaze reacting to every detail of my expression, my breath, and the twitching inside my walls; his sensual lips, which loved to move roughly; the supple yet powerful movements of his muscles; the heat of his cock and the way he ground against me inside. The suffocatingly rich scent. Every sensation he gave me stood in stark contrast to my former, faint world.

My mind blurred hazily, yet conversely, every one of my senses grew chillingly sharp.

I liked being exposed to that clarity, letting myself fall apart. Only he and I were here. Privacy was something else. Whether we indulged in some pleasure or enjoyed some debauched act together on the bed, as long as that one person consented, it wasn't a sin.

I was free. Even if it was an illusion of indulgence and depravity, at least in this moment, that's how I felt.

Even this position — kneeling on all fours, trembling with the force of his thrusts, turning my head to exchange filthy kisses — felt free now, rather than shameful. Even that twisted pleasure that came from boldly doing what I was forbidden to do, what I shouldn't do, was part of the sex.

"I want it..."

Just as he said, I spoke only what I wanted. My voice, split obscenely, wasn't quite clear.

"You already have it, right now."

Slowing the pace of his thrusts, he instead pushed his cock deep, all the way in. Without pulling back even slightly in that position, he began to rock his hips violently.

I shuddered at the feeling of his cock throbbing inside me, shaking my head wildly, saying no, that wasn't it.

"What you did last time..."

"......"

"Do that for me. Knotting... do that again."

What in the world was I saying?

He grabbed my hair and yanked it back hard. Biting his own swollen lip, he spat out words in rapid English, accented more strongly than usual, cursing my depravity that was driving him mad.

Everything about the way he treated me became rougher. The man who used to resist outside forces trying to invade him was gone, replaced by someone tearing at his own sweatpants.

He grabbed both my wrists and yanked me backward as if pulling me behind him. He pulled me up until I was standing and then crushed me against his chest. My chest and both arms were bound by his hold, leaving me completely immobile. A powerful force squeezed me, feeling as if every bone in my upper body would shatter. Blue veins bulged in his arms, and the outline of his muscles became more distinct.

He buried his face into my neck, above the neckline of my t-shirt, which had stretched down so that one shoulder was completely exposed. The force with which he dug his teeth into the spot where my neck met my shoulder was too intense to be considered play or even heavy petting. As if he wanted to tear off a chunk of flesh and swallow it, he bit my skin and shook his head violently.

"Ugh, uh... hhhng!"

Without releasing the grip that held me tightly, he pulled his hips back, leaving only the head inside, then thrust forward with enough force to make a loud fwop, causing the flesh of my buttocks to tremble.

His cock, which burrowed deep enough to mash himself against my buttock, then withdrew halfway, scraping against my inner walls as it went... It felt like it was rubbing not just my core, but my entire body. It was a sex where he seemed determined to pour every part of himself into me, trying to transform me into himself.

As the feeling of climax, which had repeatedly surged to the tip of my cock only to retreat, raced through my body once more, I felt a taut fullness swelling in my lower abdomen and buttocks.

It was like inserting a hose into my hole, sealing the opening, and then turning the water on to its maximum setting, inflating me. Thump, thump, thump — my pulse hammered as if striking down from above my head, and I felt all the blood in my body rushing through my veins at several times its normal speed.

"Haaah, h-this... this..."

I ejaculated onto the sheets, my eyes wide open toward the ceiling as if I had witnessed something astonishing. Even while watching me come, he didn't slow down his thrusting at all.

There is no brake for him while he is knotting. At this moment when the reproductive capabilities of the Golden Alpha are maximized for procreation, he exists only to impregnate me, whom he holds in his arms.

It felt as if my whole body was being tightly bound with ropes that were gradually tightening their hold. It was a pleasure akin to a severe full-body ache that pressed into my skin, as if he were crushing every part of me.

"Yes, it's knotting.... Do you like it? Do you like it that much?"

Biting all over my neck as if he hated me, he pounded into me with his engorged cock, which seemed ready to burst me open. His length, which choked my throat and made me gasp for air, shook me as if it could rearrange all my internal organs without him even needing to move his hips loudly. That was knotting.

"You said you were a Beta. You insisted you weren't an Omega. So why are you looking for knotting? Do you want to get pregnant? Huh?"

I'm going crazy.

Listening to his voice, which scolded me as if threatening me, for a fleeting moment, there was a part of me wondering if our relationship might change if pregnancy became possible. Even though it was just a thought that lasted only an instant, the cowardly and petty direction of that thought — something I could never have imagined before — felt frightening and chilling.

"Why, why do you..."

He mumbled, as if surrendering or collapsing, and then ejaculated with his forehead buried in my shoulder. It was a hot, fierce ejaculation, as if boiling water had been poured inside me. At first, it shot out like a stream from a showerhead, but then it churned out repeatedly, soaking me thoroughly inside.

The massive amount of semen immediately began to leak down between my legs, squeezing through the perfectly sealed gap between his knotting cock and my inner walls as soon as he poured it inside me. If it hadn't leaked out like that, my internal organs might actually have been damaged. And, although this was only relevant if I had been an Omega, it was enough volume to cause pregnancy even if some of it still seeped out.

I turned my head toward him. The eyes that looked up at me as he lifted his face from my neck were, just like last time, completely unhinged.

His unfocused gaze, which seemed to look at me but not through me, might have been frightening to some, but to me, it was simply sexy. Thinking that all this wildness and irrationality was directed at me made me greedy enough to want to clutch him in my hands.

When I kissed his languidly drooping eyelids, he instantly sprang to life, attacking me roughly and snatching my lips. At the same time, still holding me, he fell onto the sheets and climbed onto my stomach.

My lips, tongue, neck, ears, chest, armpits, pubic hair, the back of my balls, and even my hole. His ministrations were thorough, searching every inch. He greedily inhaled my scent wherever his lips and nose touched, showing a desire for me that rivaled my own greed for him.

"Whatever happens... just come to me like you did today. You don't have to worry about anything."

Even if it was just lip service, meaningless words poured out in the heat of the bed, like the whispered "I love yous" from one-night stands I'd just met that day, it was the perfect sustenance for my ravenous heart aching for him.

I closed my eyes while clutching the back of his head as he repeatedly kissed my intensely swollen, reddened nipples after pushing up my t-shirt.

Unlike last time, when he had awkwardly stopped things after ejaculating with knotting and frantically tried to scrape the semen out of me, this time he changed positions and came inside me one more time.

It felt as if my entire body was reeking of his scent, not mine — not just the interior of my inner walls, which had been thoroughly slicked with his semen three times — but everywhere. Something had definitely changed.